Jericho: Bologna
As I have gotten older, I have come to discover that the simple things in life are the ones I treasure.
Last night, just for a thrill, Steph and I went grocery shopping! Will my whirlwind life ever slow down? Between nearly being killed by mothers driving their carts much as they drive their SUVs and their children attempting to deafen me with their seemingly endless ability to shriek at the top of their lungs whenever drug into a public place, I found something extraordinary: Boloney.
Laugh if you will, but there, in a refrigerated case, was a pound of my childhood for $.88 cents. I grabbed it. It wasn't even the pure beef stuff, this was the chicken gizzards and pork lips crap I ate as a kid and I must admit I was a little giddy. Just the thought of a slice of boloney and a Kraft Single on white bread with Heinz ketchup and a shot of mustard made my tastebuds sing!
Steph and I have been trying to make better food choices for a few years now, pretty much since she moved out here. White bread nearly never makes it into my lunch bag, if it does it's the high quality stuff. I haven't bought Wonder Bread, well, ever. When I was a kid we could never afford it. The local store brands were much cheaper and they were usually bigger loaves. Heck, we couldn't even afford Bunny Bread. As an adult, there are so many bread choices and alternatives that white is just boring. For a buck I can get a loaf of bread with more grains than I care to count, with protein grams in the double digits and that actually has some chew to it. When I think white bread now, I think the stuff that costs $2.50 a loaf and comes out of the wrapper smelling like it just came out of the oven. Nummers!!
As for lunch meat, we usually get roast beef from the deli or Butterball sliced turkey breast at CostCo. Both are lower than lunch meat in fat, salt, guilt, etc. The Butterball stuff is really tasty as well and makes the roast beef look like a stick of butter. Putting mayo on it is almost a crime - you just wait for Richard Simmons to burst through the door and strangle you with his perm. So, two slices, a little mustard and no cheese on 300 grain bread that has never been tested on animals or produced with child labor. A guilt free lunch.*
Over and over and over and over and over! Bah!!!
So, today, I broke out some good, locally produced white bread, loaded it with TWO slices of babbean (it's what I called it when I was a baby, it caught on with my family, big boloney eaters), two Kraft singles, Heinz Ketchup and Gulden's mustard. Fucking yum!
I ate two of those sandwiches and loved every bite. This country was built on white bread and bologna. Without that stuff, skyscrapers and battle ships would still be parts on the ground. The energy from that cheap meat substitute and the airiest bread ever conceived have made this country what it is. In our quest for perfect nutrition and long life through self denial, sometimes a good thing can be forgotten.
Whatever, it tastes better than Spam. You look hungry, go have a sandwich.
*Turkeys are mean and evil, if they didn't taste so good we would have exterminated them as pests two hundred years ago. I feel no remorse for having feasted on their tender, juicy, hormone injected flesh.
Last night, just for a thrill, Steph and I went grocery shopping! Will my whirlwind life ever slow down? Between nearly being killed by mothers driving their carts much as they drive their SUVs and their children attempting to deafen me with their seemingly endless ability to shriek at the top of their lungs whenever drug into a public place, I found something extraordinary: Boloney.
Laugh if you will, but there, in a refrigerated case, was a pound of my childhood for $.88 cents. I grabbed it. It wasn't even the pure beef stuff, this was the chicken gizzards and pork lips crap I ate as a kid and I must admit I was a little giddy. Just the thought of a slice of boloney and a Kraft Single on white bread with Heinz ketchup and a shot of mustard made my tastebuds sing!
Steph and I have been trying to make better food choices for a few years now, pretty much since she moved out here. White bread nearly never makes it into my lunch bag, if it does it's the high quality stuff. I haven't bought Wonder Bread, well, ever. When I was a kid we could never afford it. The local store brands were much cheaper and they were usually bigger loaves. Heck, we couldn't even afford Bunny Bread. As an adult, there are so many bread choices and alternatives that white is just boring. For a buck I can get a loaf of bread with more grains than I care to count, with protein grams in the double digits and that actually has some chew to it. When I think white bread now, I think the stuff that costs $2.50 a loaf and comes out of the wrapper smelling like it just came out of the oven. Nummers!!
As for lunch meat, we usually get roast beef from the deli or Butterball sliced turkey breast at CostCo. Both are lower than lunch meat in fat, salt, guilt, etc. The Butterball stuff is really tasty as well and makes the roast beef look like a stick of butter. Putting mayo on it is almost a crime - you just wait for Richard Simmons to burst through the door and strangle you with his perm. So, two slices, a little mustard and no cheese on 300 grain bread that has never been tested on animals or produced with child labor. A guilt free lunch.*
Over and over and over and over and over! Bah!!!
So, today, I broke out some good, locally produced white bread, loaded it with TWO slices of babbean (it's what I called it when I was a baby, it caught on with my family, big boloney eaters), two Kraft singles, Heinz Ketchup and Gulden's mustard. Fucking yum!
I ate two of those sandwiches and loved every bite. This country was built on white bread and bologna. Without that stuff, skyscrapers and battle ships would still be parts on the ground. The energy from that cheap meat substitute and the airiest bread ever conceived have made this country what it is. In our quest for perfect nutrition and long life through self denial, sometimes a good thing can be forgotten.
Whatever, it tastes better than Spam. You look hungry, go have a sandwich.
*Turkeys are mean and evil, if they didn't taste so good we would have exterminated them as pests two hundred years ago. I feel no remorse for having feasted on their tender, juicy, hormone injected flesh.
posted by Jericho Brown at 11/17/2003 05:23:00 PM
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