Jericho: Tropical Cyber Begging
Cyber begging has become a new artform on the Internet. People have been able to pay off their credit cards, buy breast implants, even quit their day jobs to pursue their webcomic all because everyday Internet users have donated small sums of money which added up to a big grand total.
In this spirit, Max and I would like to do a little cyber-begging of our own. We don't want you to pay off our credit cards or help us leave our day jobs - we want you all, our loyal readers, to buy us a tropical island!
That's right, Ebay has a 12 acre island up for bidding off the coast of Belize. Go out to Ebay and search for this lot number: 2393994394. This island would be perfect for Max and I. We would finally escape the world that we have grown to hate. There are no phones, no lights, no motor cars, not a single luxury! Best of all - no computers! We would finally be able to overcome our Internet addictions and just get away from it all.
There are also some other great things about Moho Caye, this lovely island is twelve+ miles off the coast of Belize, that would be international waters. So, when Max and I arrive, we can declare it our own country and claim three miles of waters around us! Ta-da! No more debt! The new country will declare the owners as new-born god-kings who are not the same people they were before they were newly born - Max and Jericho will be declared dead.
We can legalize whatever we want, for example, pot-smoking and prostitution! These will most likely become the main source of income for the island. We'll take an acre or two and turn that into a pot plantation. We'll set up a few huts on the beach for the sex workers. Any visitors will be charged $1000 for a week of free pot, grilled fish, and all the booty they can pay for. The sex workers will charge whatever the market will bear and we'll take 25%. Ah - paradise!
This is where you come in. If you use the donation button below, you will be added to the lists of respected visitors to Moho Caye. Donations from a dollar up will earn the donator a free day of access once a year to the Caye. We will hold a yearly party, we'll eat fish, play in the sand, and enjoy ourselves. Maybe we'll bring in some live music, we'll certainly have locally produced booze!
Donations of $1000 or more will grant you a second free day of access to the island, plus, we won't charge any sex workers you are with our 25% cut. I'm not sure how it will translate out for you, but, hey, who knows!
Donators of $10,000 or more will get to come to the island anytime they please. They will have full access to all the food and pot they can consume. We will also remove the 25% cut. Vavoom!
Donators of $100,000 or more will be at the Royal level. They can come down anytime, do whatever they want, and it's all on the house. For the rest of their lives. No, really, no kidding.
Donators of $250,000 or more are considered Partner level. At this level, you enjoy all the benefits of Royal level. Plus, all island profits will be divided between myself, Max and the partners. Since this is my idea, I will control 51% of the island. Max will control 25%. The last 24% will be divided among the Partners evenly annually. Imagine all the money that will flow in from all the pot heads of the world as they come to this tropical paradise to smoke like they have never smoked before! We'll be rolling in it! And so can you. Just donate below.
Once the initial $400k is raised, we will begin the process of purchasing the island. We will then have 10 years to pay, so this could go faster than you might think. If we get into trouble or if we can't raise enough to actually buy the island, individual donations greater than $10,000 will be returned. Sorry, we might need the rest for legal fees!
In this spirit, Max and I would like to do a little cyber-begging of our own. We don't want you to pay off our credit cards or help us leave our day jobs - we want you all, our loyal readers, to buy us a tropical island!
That's right, Ebay has a 12 acre island up for bidding off the coast of Belize. Go out to Ebay and search for this lot number: 2393994394. This island would be perfect for Max and I. We would finally escape the world that we have grown to hate. There are no phones, no lights, no motor cars, not a single luxury! Best of all - no computers! We would finally be able to overcome our Internet addictions and just get away from it all.
There are also some other great things about Moho Caye, this lovely island is twelve+ miles off the coast of Belize, that would be international waters. So, when Max and I arrive, we can declare it our own country and claim three miles of waters around us! Ta-da! No more debt! The new country will declare the owners as new-born god-kings who are not the same people they were before they were newly born - Max and Jericho will be declared dead.
We can legalize whatever we want, for example, pot-smoking and prostitution! These will most likely become the main source of income for the island. We'll take an acre or two and turn that into a pot plantation. We'll set up a few huts on the beach for the sex workers. Any visitors will be charged $1000 for a week of free pot, grilled fish, and all the booty they can pay for. The sex workers will charge whatever the market will bear and we'll take 25%. Ah - paradise!
This is where you come in. If you use the donation button below, you will be added to the lists of respected visitors to Moho Caye. Donations from a dollar up will earn the donator a free day of access once a year to the Caye. We will hold a yearly party, we'll eat fish, play in the sand, and enjoy ourselves. Maybe we'll bring in some live music, we'll certainly have locally produced booze!
Donations of $1000 or more will grant you a second free day of access to the island, plus, we won't charge any sex workers you are with our 25% cut. I'm not sure how it will translate out for you, but, hey, who knows!
Donators of $10,000 or more will get to come to the island anytime they please. They will have full access to all the food and pot they can consume. We will also remove the 25% cut. Vavoom!
Donators of $100,000 or more will be at the Royal level. They can come down anytime, do whatever they want, and it's all on the house. For the rest of their lives. No, really, no kidding.
Donators of $250,000 or more are considered Partner level. At this level, you enjoy all the benefits of Royal level. Plus, all island profits will be divided between myself, Max and the partners. Since this is my idea, I will control 51% of the island. Max will control 25%. The last 24% will be divided among the Partners evenly annually. Imagine all the money that will flow in from all the pot heads of the world as they come to this tropical paradise to smoke like they have never smoked before! We'll be rolling in it! And so can you. Just donate below.
Once the initial $400k is raised, we will begin the process of purchasing the island. We will then have 10 years to pay, so this could go faster than you might think. If we get into trouble or if we can't raise enough to actually buy the island, individual donations greater than $10,000 will be returned. Sorry, we might need the rest for legal fees!
posted by Jericho Brown at 6/21/2004 11:55:00 AM
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