Jericho: Should have stayed in bed.
I am having just a horrible day.
The day got off to a bad start before I even woke up. I had been dreaming that I was a kid at some military school. The teachers kept coming into the classrooms, dressed in uniforms out of some music video, blowing away the kids. They would show up with shot guns and automatic pistols and all the kids would hit the deck. I kept living through this somehow. In the next class the teachers would show up again and my schoolmates heads would begin exploding around me. Over and over I got to duck and cover as bits of children splattered on me. Finally I got one of the pistols away from the teachers and then I ... Steph poked me in the shoulder. She was going off to make lunches - time to get up. I should have taken the hint that the world would do fine without me and just stayed in bed. I think I'll skip watching Law and Order tonight.
I've been reading "From a Buick 8" by Stephen King. I only read it on the bus. So, it's taking me a little while to get through. But, this book, well, it's not typical King. Or, typical anyone. I've never read a book like this, this is as close to oral tradition as books get. I think that's the point, but it was frustrating to read at first, in the middle it was downright boring. However, I'm in the final stretch and it's getting interesting finally. The problem is, the traffic has been fair to non-existent the last few days. We figure traffic into everything around here. If you are going to the video store at 2AM on a Thursday to drop off some discs, make sure to add a half hour to your trip. So, instead of getting to read good part in depth on the way into work - I just get going and then I have to get off the bus. Joy! I'll be reading this book for another four months!
I got to work and pulled out The Bag of Food. When you are on a diet, you should plan your meals very carefully. Steph makes this easy for me by packing lots of great food. For breakfast, I usually have a Slim Fast Low Carb shake and then later in the morning a low carb bar. All told about four or five carbs and about 400 calories. However, this morning, my shake was frozen. I guess it froze in the refrigerator. Those damn steel cans conduct cold FAR too well. One of the primary ingredients in these shakes is soy milk (read: soy oil). So, what I got wasn't like what you would get if you froze a normal shake. It didn't taste bad, it just felt like frozen snot in your mouth. I thought I'd let it thaw. Apparently the thaw point of soy milk is near the melting point of lead - it certainly isn't room temperature. Finally I gave up and tossed it out. I figured I'd go to the cafeteria and get some bacon and rehydrated eggs. Well, I was so busy that by the time I got over there all that was left was donuts. I went back to my desk, ate my bar, drank my water and fumed.
While I was questing for bacon, I missed a call from the LAN admin on the east coast. His message was extensive: "Give me a call." A voicemail with no information is a waste of everyone's time IMHO. Normally, this wouldn't be a problem, but I wasn't having a good morning so far. I mean, no bacon, what's that crap? I called him back, he wasn't there, I left a message. I needed to make copies, he of course called while I was gone. I called him back - not there. Finally he called me back and got me at my desk - just as I was getting up to go pee. Lovely. The problem was trivial and stupid, but this guy and I suffer the same problem: our users are the ones who pay us. So, when they break out in a case of the stupids or grow fat fingers, it's the system's fault and we need to fix it. I can't wait for the hyper-intelligent psychic operating system (HIP/OS (TM)) to be installed on these people's machines - maybe they'll shut up for a minute.
A little later, I get an email from a user with this simple bit of astute observation:
"BTW my voicemail doesn't work."
That's it, that was the whole email. But, see, it's even worse than this. I guess the east coast office had a major case of the stupids floating around in the air, because this guy works out there. He didn't send this message to me, he sent it to the computer guys. So, he sent it to the wrong people, on the wrong coast and looked like an idiot in the process. I contacted the local LAN admin, got him on the first call this time! He explained that this customer has a sense of humor. I guess I missed the joke. There is actually more to this story, but if I told you I would be violating security as well as my NDA - let's just say it's enough to drive a systems tech to rip out his hair.
The purchasing system in our department, in a word, lacks. Basically, if you want to order something, you are better off breaking a wishbone. You have the exact same chance of getting what you wanted in a timely manner. So, when we want something, we sometimes bend the rules. I have a corporate credit card - it's not as cool as it sounds. It's paid at the end of the month no matter what, it makes a direct deduction from our checking account. This is a great motivator to turn in my expenses on time! I recently made a purchase for our group and I turned in the request for reimbursement, about $200. Now, I don't get along with Type A people real well anyway. But, the bean counters around here seem to have an unusually large stick up their collective collecting asses! They seem to think that because they have all these rules, forms and processes that it makes sense to everyone else and that the rest of us live and breathe this stuff just like they do. I just want my freaking money. It takes them two or more days, not to mention half a dozen calls to you even after you have followed all the rules and filled out all the forms. Finally, after my boss intervened, they cut me a check. I don't think I'll be doing this again. I have some travel coming up, that will fulfill my yearly paperwork quota just nicely, thank you.
One of the things I ordered still hasn't shown up yet - it's been two and a half weeks. I have to write a report on this shit. One of the few things I'm not slacking on is going to make me look like a slacker!
We are moving from NT 4.0 to WinXP - just three months before Microsoft is dropping support for NT. So, there is some software we have passed out to people that shouldn't have been affected by WinXp in the least. But, sure enough, functionality that was there before the switch is not there now. This is a simple bit of software. However, the Systems technitions are cock sure it can't be one of the millions of settings and security controls in XP that is limiting this functionality. It has to be this bit of software, it has to be one of the four variables under Properties that haven't changed a lick. It's always the voicemail system. If your phone doesn't work right, blame the voicemail system. If your computer freezes up, it's the voicemail system. If your cell phone goes on the fritz, it must be the voicemail system. If it rains frogs somewhere near you, let me know and I'll go reboot the voicemail system.
On top of all of this, I still have to be here for two more hours. Yummy.
The day got off to a bad start before I even woke up. I had been dreaming that I was a kid at some military school. The teachers kept coming into the classrooms, dressed in uniforms out of some music video, blowing away the kids. They would show up with shot guns and automatic pistols and all the kids would hit the deck. I kept living through this somehow. In the next class the teachers would show up again and my schoolmates heads would begin exploding around me. Over and over I got to duck and cover as bits of children splattered on me. Finally I got one of the pistols away from the teachers and then I ... Steph poked me in the shoulder. She was going off to make lunches - time to get up. I should have taken the hint that the world would do fine without me and just stayed in bed. I think I'll skip watching Law and Order tonight.
I've been reading "From a Buick 8" by Stephen King. I only read it on the bus. So, it's taking me a little while to get through. But, this book, well, it's not typical King. Or, typical anyone. I've never read a book like this, this is as close to oral tradition as books get. I think that's the point, but it was frustrating to read at first, in the middle it was downright boring. However, I'm in the final stretch and it's getting interesting finally. The problem is, the traffic has been fair to non-existent the last few days. We figure traffic into everything around here. If you are going to the video store at 2AM on a Thursday to drop off some discs, make sure to add a half hour to your trip. So, instead of getting to read good part in depth on the way into work - I just get going and then I have to get off the bus. Joy! I'll be reading this book for another four months!
I got to work and pulled out The Bag of Food. When you are on a diet, you should plan your meals very carefully. Steph makes this easy for me by packing lots of great food. For breakfast, I usually have a Slim Fast Low Carb shake and then later in the morning a low carb bar. All told about four or five carbs and about 400 calories. However, this morning, my shake was frozen. I guess it froze in the refrigerator. Those damn steel cans conduct cold FAR too well. One of the primary ingredients in these shakes is soy milk (read: soy oil). So, what I got wasn't like what you would get if you froze a normal shake. It didn't taste bad, it just felt like frozen snot in your mouth. I thought I'd let it thaw. Apparently the thaw point of soy milk is near the melting point of lead - it certainly isn't room temperature. Finally I gave up and tossed it out. I figured I'd go to the cafeteria and get some bacon and rehydrated eggs. Well, I was so busy that by the time I got over there all that was left was donuts. I went back to my desk, ate my bar, drank my water and fumed.
While I was questing for bacon, I missed a call from the LAN admin on the east coast. His message was extensive: "Give me a call." A voicemail with no information is a waste of everyone's time IMHO. Normally, this wouldn't be a problem, but I wasn't having a good morning so far. I mean, no bacon, what's that crap? I called him back, he wasn't there, I left a message. I needed to make copies, he of course called while I was gone. I called him back - not there. Finally he called me back and got me at my desk - just as I was getting up to go pee. Lovely. The problem was trivial and stupid, but this guy and I suffer the same problem: our users are the ones who pay us. So, when they break out in a case of the stupids or grow fat fingers, it's the system's fault and we need to fix it. I can't wait for the hyper-intelligent psychic operating system (HIP/OS (TM)) to be installed on these people's machines - maybe they'll shut up for a minute.
A little later, I get an email from a user with this simple bit of astute observation:
"BTW my voicemail doesn't work."
That's it, that was the whole email. But, see, it's even worse than this. I guess the east coast office had a major case of the stupids floating around in the air, because this guy works out there. He didn't send this message to me, he sent it to the computer guys. So, he sent it to the wrong people, on the wrong coast and looked like an idiot in the process. I contacted the local LAN admin, got him on the first call this time! He explained that this customer has a sense of humor. I guess I missed the joke. There is actually more to this story, but if I told you I would be violating security as well as my NDA - let's just say it's enough to drive a systems tech to rip out his hair.
The purchasing system in our department, in a word, lacks. Basically, if you want to order something, you are better off breaking a wishbone. You have the exact same chance of getting what you wanted in a timely manner. So, when we want something, we sometimes bend the rules. I have a corporate credit card - it's not as cool as it sounds. It's paid at the end of the month no matter what, it makes a direct deduction from our checking account. This is a great motivator to turn in my expenses on time! I recently made a purchase for our group and I turned in the request for reimbursement, about $200. Now, I don't get along with Type A people real well anyway. But, the bean counters around here seem to have an unusually large stick up their collective collecting asses! They seem to think that because they have all these rules, forms and processes that it makes sense to everyone else and that the rest of us live and breathe this stuff just like they do. I just want my freaking money. It takes them two or more days, not to mention half a dozen calls to you even after you have followed all the rules and filled out all the forms. Finally, after my boss intervened, they cut me a check. I don't think I'll be doing this again. I have some travel coming up, that will fulfill my yearly paperwork quota just nicely, thank you.
One of the things I ordered still hasn't shown up yet - it's been two and a half weeks. I have to write a report on this shit. One of the few things I'm not slacking on is going to make me look like a slacker!
We are moving from NT 4.0 to WinXP - just three months before Microsoft is dropping support for NT. So, there is some software we have passed out to people that shouldn't have been affected by WinXp in the least. But, sure enough, functionality that was there before the switch is not there now. This is a simple bit of software. However, the Systems technitions are cock sure it can't be one of the millions of settings and security controls in XP that is limiting this functionality. It has to be this bit of software, it has to be one of the four variables under Properties that haven't changed a lick. It's always the voicemail system. If your phone doesn't work right, blame the voicemail system. If your computer freezes up, it's the voicemail system. If your cell phone goes on the fritz, it must be the voicemail system. If it rains frogs somewhere near you, let me know and I'll go reboot the voicemail system.
On top of all of this, I still have to be here for two more hours. Yummy.
posted by Jericho Brown at 9/21/2004 04:30:00 PM
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