Jericho: But do I look Canadian enough ... eh??
Jericho looks into his crystal ball and predicts events occurring in this administration. In the next four year you will see:
... a new vision of the draft. It will become a holy sacrament in the Temple of the Crucified Elephant God. Young men will volunteer to defend the rights and freedoms of Americans by going to other countries and kicking ass!
... a war with China, or Cuba, or Jamaica - any place that has no chance of standing up to the might of the U.S. war machine. They're all Communists anyway ...
... Roe vs. Wade be not only be overturned, but the Constitution and Bill of Rights will be amended to keep women barefoot, pregnant and in the kitchen. Remember, all MEN are created equal.
... homosexuals executed in the streets as traitors to the State. It says so in the Bible! You bisexuals, transexuals and heterosexuals are next!!
... the Internet will simply be switched off. Too much chance that someone might see a naked boobie - we can't have that. Along that line, old issues of Playboy, National Geographic and Highlights will be buried in an abandoned salt mine in Indiana, until their "radioacticalvity half live" expires.
... the Democratic party will be named "The Other Republican Party" via an amendment to the Constitution.
... all books will be banned. Period.
... the Boy Scouts and Girl Scouts will be brought under one organization; the Bush Youth Corps. Buy the cookies ... or else!
... anyone saying the phrase "I miss Clinton" will be shot on sight.
... hybrid, solar powered or other alternately fueled vehicles will be placed in warehouse-museums where they can be laughed at but not used. Oil will rocket to $100 a barrel and this will be declared a "double plus good thing" for the economy by Senator Martha Stewart.
... big drug companies force the cost of medicines ever higher. Big insurance companies will refuse to pay the ever larger costs for drugs and procedures. The 90% of the population that doesn't control 90% of the wealth will not be able to afford ANY health care. So, Hospitals will shut their doors.
... a wave of "hospitos" hit the market. These will be hospitals converted into condos. You will have a choice of private or semi-private.
... the eight disk Star Wars DVD collection. All six movies in DVDII format, plus a disk of extras with previews of the third trilogy and a disk with a three hour "Making of" movie. Fans will complain about the fact that several changes have been made to the original moves. First, George Lucas' name will have been removed from the work entirely. Second, the Jedi will now be called "The Bushi." And last but not least, the CGI face of Dubya will be placed over that of Mark Hamil's - even in the black and white video taped auditions. No attempts will be made to change Mark's voice. Later that year, all Star Wars fans will be rounded up into concentration camps and all DVDs will be banned.
... Jericho Brown will move to Canada, assume the name of Jurgen Blanc and learn to speak French. When in hell, you learn to shovel hot coals.
... a new vision of the draft. It will become a holy sacrament in the Temple of the Crucified Elephant God. Young men will volunteer to defend the rights and freedoms of Americans by going to other countries and kicking ass!
... a war with China, or Cuba, or Jamaica - any place that has no chance of standing up to the might of the U.S. war machine. They're all Communists anyway ...
... Roe vs. Wade be not only be overturned, but the Constitution and Bill of Rights will be amended to keep women barefoot, pregnant and in the kitchen. Remember, all MEN are created equal.
... homosexuals executed in the streets as traitors to the State. It says so in the Bible! You bisexuals, transexuals and heterosexuals are next!!
... the Internet will simply be switched off. Too much chance that someone might see a naked boobie - we can't have that. Along that line, old issues of Playboy, National Geographic and Highlights will be buried in an abandoned salt mine in Indiana, until their "radioacticalvity half live" expires.
... the Democratic party will be named "The Other Republican Party" via an amendment to the Constitution.
... all books will be banned. Period.
... the Boy Scouts and Girl Scouts will be brought under one organization; the Bush Youth Corps. Buy the cookies ... or else!
... anyone saying the phrase "I miss Clinton" will be shot on sight.
... hybrid, solar powered or other alternately fueled vehicles will be placed in warehouse-museums where they can be laughed at but not used. Oil will rocket to $100 a barrel and this will be declared a "double plus good thing" for the economy by Senator Martha Stewart.
... big drug companies force the cost of medicines ever higher. Big insurance companies will refuse to pay the ever larger costs for drugs and procedures. The 90% of the population that doesn't control 90% of the wealth will not be able to afford ANY health care. So, Hospitals will shut their doors.
... a wave of "hospitos" hit the market. These will be hospitals converted into condos. You will have a choice of private or semi-private.
... the eight disk Star Wars DVD collection. All six movies in DVDII format, plus a disk of extras with previews of the third trilogy and a disk with a three hour "Making of" movie. Fans will complain about the fact that several changes have been made to the original moves. First, George Lucas' name will have been removed from the work entirely. Second, the Jedi will now be called "The Bushi." And last but not least, the CGI face of Dubya will be placed over that of Mark Hamil's - even in the black and white video taped auditions. No attempts will be made to change Mark's voice. Later that year, all Star Wars fans will be rounded up into concentration camps and all DVDs will be banned.
... Jericho Brown will move to Canada, assume the name of Jurgen Blanc and learn to speak French. When in hell, you learn to shovel hot coals.
posted by Jericho Brown at 11/04/2004 10:00:00 AM
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