Max: Whirled Peas
The past week has been something of a kick in the head. Thursday, I went into work to find out that my job is being shipped to Louisville sometime this summer. I had no desire to move to Kentucky even before Jericho's last post. Even if a move was not in and of itself not out of the question, they told us that if we wanted to move with our jobs, we would have to do an interview. That is right, I would have to interview to keep my job. Fuck the fact that I am damn good at what I do. Fuck the fact that I drag my ass in every day despite the fact that playing chicken with a methed out semi drivers has way more appeal. Fuck the fact that 3 weeks ago when we were overwhelmed with calls I managed to take over 100 calls in just 8 hours when most people around me had taken 60-70. Fuck the fact that I took care of each and every one of those 100 callers properly. If I had any desire to keep my job not only would I have to move to Hooterville, I would have to compete with Arnold Ziffel in the process.
We have been officially discouraged from looking for jobs outside of the company. The powers that be say that between openings in Louisville and expansion of other departments in Saint Louis that more jobs will be opened in the next few months than there will be people laid off. Just in case there is the slightest possibility that we are being dicked around by our corporate masters who don't want this layoff to leave them too shorthanded too soon, I have started sending out resumes.
But that's not all...
Laura has been having some minor back pain, mainly first thing in the morning, for a few months now. It finally got annoying enough that she sought out a chiropractor. We should have known from the start that the squirrelly little fellow she found was a quack. We should have run screaming at the sight of him. In just three days of "treatment" Laura's back pain went from annoying to crippling. On Saturday she ended up in the emergency room, barely able to walk. Some industrial strength pain killers and muscle relaxants that have just about turned her into a zombie have started her on a month long trek back to the point where we started when her back pain was merely an annoyance.
All this made my jobs even more of a challenge than normal. It is bad enough dealing with bitter, hate-filled assholes who would rather condemn themselves to a lifetime of malware and other computer issues than admit that my employer is not the source of all evil in the universe. Dealing with it knowing that there is no future in it has so far been a test of my famously limited patience.
This past week by itself would have been more than enough fun just based on my impending layoff and Laura imploding vertebrae. But on top of all else, yesterday marked the second anniversary of my daughter's death. I took yesterday and today off. I decided to take them off both in remembrance of my little Robin and as a favor to the callers I would otherwise had to deal with. After this week's events - both past and present - it would have probably taken only one user reacting to the suggestion that they might want to consider installing some basic security software as if it was the most hateful insult ever uttered in their direction to cause and eruption of small arms fire.
Laura decided she was ready to finally view the ultrasound video we took of her just three days before we lost her. I wasn't as sure that I could handle it. The idea of looking at that perfect, healthy little girl mere days from being gone left me mixed feelings. It proved to be a bit easier than I feared it might be. But only a bit. We then went to her grave with Laura's parents. That is always hard for me. Going there and being there isn't so bad. In fact, it helps because my mother always leaves toys and other decorations. It's helpful to see that others remember and miss her too. Leaving is that hard part. There is something very paternal in me that keeps telling me I am leaving my little girl behind. That is still hard to deal with.
Laura's parents took us out to dinner after. Some great steak and some freaking amazing ribs helped fill the physical hole, and helped take our minds off of the spiritual hole that will never be filled.
Today I have been pretty much settling in to a long weekend. I guess after I wind this up I will hit the online version of the local paper and see if anything new has been posted in the help wanted section.
We have been officially discouraged from looking for jobs outside of the company. The powers that be say that between openings in Louisville and expansion of other departments in Saint Louis that more jobs will be opened in the next few months than there will be people laid off. Just in case there is the slightest possibility that we are being dicked around by our corporate masters who don't want this layoff to leave them too shorthanded too soon, I have started sending out resumes.
But that's not all...
Laura has been having some minor back pain, mainly first thing in the morning, for a few months now. It finally got annoying enough that she sought out a chiropractor. We should have known from the start that the squirrelly little fellow she found was a quack. We should have run screaming at the sight of him. In just three days of "treatment" Laura's back pain went from annoying to crippling. On Saturday she ended up in the emergency room, barely able to walk. Some industrial strength pain killers and muscle relaxants that have just about turned her into a zombie have started her on a month long trek back to the point where we started when her back pain was merely an annoyance.
All this made my jobs even more of a challenge than normal. It is bad enough dealing with bitter, hate-filled assholes who would rather condemn themselves to a lifetime of malware and other computer issues than admit that my employer is not the source of all evil in the universe. Dealing with it knowing that there is no future in it has so far been a test of my famously limited patience.
This past week by itself would have been more than enough fun just based on my impending layoff and Laura imploding vertebrae. But on top of all else, yesterday marked the second anniversary of my daughter's death. I took yesterday and today off. I decided to take them off both in remembrance of my little Robin and as a favor to the callers I would otherwise had to deal with. After this week's events - both past and present - it would have probably taken only one user reacting to the suggestion that they might want to consider installing some basic security software as if it was the most hateful insult ever uttered in their direction to cause and eruption of small arms fire.
Laura decided she was ready to finally view the ultrasound video we took of her just three days before we lost her. I wasn't as sure that I could handle it. The idea of looking at that perfect, healthy little girl mere days from being gone left me mixed feelings. It proved to be a bit easier than I feared it might be. But only a bit. We then went to her grave with Laura's parents. That is always hard for me. Going there and being there isn't so bad. In fact, it helps because my mother always leaves toys and other decorations. It's helpful to see that others remember and miss her too. Leaving is that hard part. There is something very paternal in me that keeps telling me I am leaving my little girl behind. That is still hard to deal with.
Laura's parents took us out to dinner after. Some great steak and some freaking amazing ribs helped fill the physical hole, and helped take our minds off of the spiritual hole that will never be filled.
Today I have been pretty much settling in to a long weekend. I guess after I wind this up I will hit the online version of the local paper and see if anything new has been posted in the help wanted section.
posted by Max Dobberstein at 2/28/2005 04:53:00 PM
1 Comments:
Put my sad little post to shame!
But, seriously, I hope things get better for you, Max. Seems like I'm always saying that to you.
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