Max: Flabulous
I want to be fat.
Not just the cardiac arrestingly sort of fat I am now.
I want to be too fat to fit through my bedroom door. I want gigantic, sweaty manboobs. I want Richard Simmons to come to my house and put me and my manboobs on TV.
The world will be hypnotized by my gigantic, sweaty manboobs. And I will get my own talk show, which I and my manboobs will host from my bedroom. For one hour a day, the world will watch as celebrities and incestuous, polygamous gibbons lay their heads upon my gigantic, sweaty manboobs and reveal their secrets.
The other twenty three hours a day, my servants will lick the sweat from between my massive, furry rolls of fat.
Not just the cardiac arrestingly sort of fat I am now.
I want to be too fat to fit through my bedroom door. I want gigantic, sweaty manboobs. I want Richard Simmons to come to my house and put me and my manboobs on TV.
The world will be hypnotized by my gigantic, sweaty manboobs. And I will get my own talk show, which I and my manboobs will host from my bedroom. For one hour a day, the world will watch as celebrities and incestuous, polygamous gibbons lay their heads upon my gigantic, sweaty manboobs and reveal their secrets.
The other twenty three hours a day, my servants will lick the sweat from between my massive, furry rolls of fat.
posted by Max Dobberstein at 9/11/2005 07:42:00 PM
22 Comments:
Um.... I object.
I mean... ew. Just ew.
I like you chunky, but too big to fit through the door is a bit much. No, not just a bit, a LOT much.
What brought this thought on, btw?
You too will worship my manboobs.
You two will worship my manboobs.
U2 will worship my manboobs.
As a manboob owner, I can tell you for a fact that they are WAY over rated.
Manboobs are also a well known way to get rid of ma'amboobs. They just walk out the door on you!
Pay my manboobs.
I might Spay your manboobs!
You fear my manboobs. You are wise to do so.
Okay. You are scarring our visitors. Stop rubbing those!
My manboobs do not scar. They mystify. They hypnotize. They control. But they do not scar.
Alright - Mango!
Polo.
Try again ...
Too slow Chicken Mermango?
Laura, is Maxy off his meds?
The word I need to type in to post this is "dwangi".
Okay, Max, you really need to add a picture of yourself to your Blogger profile. I'm tired of just seeing my face out here.
You really want to scare people away?
I didn't say put up that THING from the DOL - a nice head shot will do, thank you.
And, don't get me started, I had to run that picture of me through Photoshop so many times I lost count. The shine off my forehead in the raw image burned out the pixels in my monitor if I left it in one place for too long!
Okay. Grandpa must be getting senile. What is DOL?
Department of Licensing. Do they call it the DMV in MO.? I've been away for a while ...
Department of Revenue.
That's a more honest name! Truth in advertising! The IRS should be "Raping the Poor Dept."
Or the "Fellate the Rich Dept."
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