Max: Dreams
I used to say that dreams can never be lost, only surrendered. I still believe that to be true. But I am learning that some dreams should be surrendered. I used to have big, unrealistic dreams. Some were unrealistic because they were just not within the realm of the likely. Others were unrealistic because I was unwilling to do the work needed to make them real. Those are the sort of dreams that can hold one in place instead of moving one forward.
One dream I have surrendered is the hope that I will one day make all or part of my living as a musician. I never worked hard enough on my instrument and have never made any serious attempt to start a band despite the fact that I know more musicians than I have toes. Oddly enough, it has been since surrendering that dream that I have started to achieve real growth as a musician. When my musical event horizon shrank from some out there unreality to just playing for fun in my room, and maybe jamming with a friend or two if we can ever find the time, it just became more real. It has become more something that I can do now and less something I may do someday. That small now seems a much more healthy environment musically speaking.
That is just one dream I surrendered and was the better for it. That doesn't mean all dreams are best surrendered. I am still hanging on to the dream that I may someday make my living in a more interesting - less unpleasant - way than the way I now do. I know that I want out of tech if I can. I love tech. I love playing with it. I love fixing it for my less tech oriented relations. I just hate having to deal with trying to make money at it while earning hate and contempt from customers. The question is what else can I do? I have toyed with the idea of Law School off and on. Usually more off than on because it is not financially feasible. I know lawyers also draw hate and contempt. I have clear memories of my father getting crap from his clients. I also remember him telling some of then to take a hike if they wouldn't shut up and do what they were told. When my father did it, he usually got them to shut up and do what they were told. If I were to do that, I would get fired. Besides, I find the law and government interesting, if somewhat disturbing. It's just not in our price range right now. However, Laura is looking to start a business. It could well tank like many businesses do. However, if it does well enough, I may be able to go back to school. Maybe even law school. We'll just have to see.
One dream I have surrendered is the hope that I will one day make all or part of my living as a musician. I never worked hard enough on my instrument and have never made any serious attempt to start a band despite the fact that I know more musicians than I have toes. Oddly enough, it has been since surrendering that dream that I have started to achieve real growth as a musician. When my musical event horizon shrank from some out there unreality to just playing for fun in my room, and maybe jamming with a friend or two if we can ever find the time, it just became more real. It has become more something that I can do now and less something I may do someday. That small now seems a much more healthy environment musically speaking.
That is just one dream I surrendered and was the better for it. That doesn't mean all dreams are best surrendered. I am still hanging on to the dream that I may someday make my living in a more interesting - less unpleasant - way than the way I now do. I know that I want out of tech if I can. I love tech. I love playing with it. I love fixing it for my less tech oriented relations. I just hate having to deal with trying to make money at it while earning hate and contempt from customers. The question is what else can I do? I have toyed with the idea of Law School off and on. Usually more off than on because it is not financially feasible. I know lawyers also draw hate and contempt. I have clear memories of my father getting crap from his clients. I also remember him telling some of then to take a hike if they wouldn't shut up and do what they were told. When my father did it, he usually got them to shut up and do what they were told. If I were to do that, I would get fired. Besides, I find the law and government interesting, if somewhat disturbing. It's just not in our price range right now. However, Laura is looking to start a business. It could well tank like many businesses do. However, if it does well enough, I may be able to go back to school. Maybe even law school. We'll just have to see.
posted by Max Dobberstein at 10/03/2005 01:45:00 AM
1 Comments:
I've always thought you'd end up a lawyer, hun. I don't know why, but I just pictured it. You're so good at arguing and you love politics, so it seems like a good fit. We'll do what we can to get you into law school-- If that's what you really want.
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