Jericho: Hey, TSA! Where does it end?
By now all of you have heard about the terrorist plot that was foiled in England. The plot to blow up planes headed to the U.S. with some form of liquid explosives. Bad stuff. Pointless. Gutless. Cowardly. I say we make the bastards eat pickled pigs feet until they starve themselves to death and head off to embarrass themselves in front of Allah in total failure. But that's just me.
In reaction to this, U.K. and U.S. airport security was stepped up. Once again, the barn door gets closed after the horse has headed for the horizon. Just in case the TSA and its British counterpart missed the coverage on CNN, these terrorists never made it to the airport. But, okay, I'm a big fan of paranoia. I'll allow a little over reaction. Maybe most Americans feel better seeing M16 toting soldiers at their airports, all I see is an innocent bystander - probably me - getting shot. But, we'll allow it for the moment.
They announce that no liquid or gel like substances will be allowed on board a plane. Really? Did I fall asleep and wake up in a bad sitcom? Seriously? No gel like substance? I guess the TSA must fly first class. I personally would rather they passed out gels as people got on the plane. Gels like toothpaste and deodorant! Taking those items away from people before they board the plane makes it even less likely that the smelly masses in coach will use them. Thanks!
What's the point of doing this? First, the terrorists never got to the plane with their liquid explosive. Second - I'M NOT A FREEKIN' TERORIST! Neither are any of the rest of the people boarding planes with shampoo in their carry on luggage. Those people just want to make sure they can wash their hair when the airlines lose their luggage! Third, I don't think the liquid explosives would work. Why? Take the way-back machine for a minute ...
Remember, what, a year ago? There were some terrorists that blew themselves up in London. They loaded explosives into backpacks and blew up some buses. (BTW, if any terrorists are reading this - not very effective, fellas. Most people don't even remember this shit. Morons!) A week or so later, a bunch more terrorists tried the same trick. "Tried" is the key word. Almost all of the terrorists lived, only a few immolated themselves. No one else was killed and short of some smoke damage, nothing else happened. Instead of waking up in Paradise to their 16 virgins, they woke to find a bobby escorting them off to prison, where they would be the virgins!
At the time, one speculation on why the second round of back packs failed was that the explosives expert went up with the first round of attacks. No expert, no boom. So, I wonder if these twonks, without an explosives expert, were trying some concoction they found. Would it actually work? Maybe it would have, I dunno.
Either way, what is the point of making innocent travelers lives more complex? I'm going on a trip in just over a week. I'm heading back to STL for a few days. When I travel, I wear nearly nothing (tee-shirt, shorts, undies - that's all), I wear sandals so they are easy to remove and xray and I always arrive 2 hours ahead, just like I'm told to. Now, they want me to arrive three hours ahead! My flight is at 6 AM! They want me at the airport at 3 AM!! Normally, I'd bring a sack breakfast just to pass the time before the flight. I can bring the breakfast, just as long as there are no gel like condiments or a drink! Get something from a vendor by the gate, you say? At 3 AM?? Not happening. Be my luck one of the security people would see the sandwich and I'd get an M16 enema for too much mayo! Guess I'll starve.
The point is that the average citizen is being punished for no good reason. But, it's not over. I've seen talk on CNN and other sources that maybe we won't be allowed ANY carry on luggage. Brilliant! So now I have to trust my laptop to baggage handlers when I travel for business? They can't handle my bags of clothes without ripping up the bags or worse! My plastic bottles of shampoo and toothpaste explode due to changes in air pressure - thus they are carried in plastic bags. But, what if I'm the only employing this trick? But, I'm supposed to trust my laptop will be secure under there?
The Brits have already outlawed iPods - there's a stroke of brilliance! They think the terrorists were going to use an iPod to make a spark to ignite their explosives. So, now I must be forced to listen to the plane of screaming babies I always seem to get placed on. (Why is it that parents can't hear their kid screaming at the top of its lungs yet, ten rows away, I can hear it?) Plus, Steph is buying me a sweet iPod for our anniversary (my first real iPod!) and I'll have it before my trip. I have spent hours and hours already making iPodible copies of our DVDs that I can carry with me. If they decide to not allow iPods - I'll be forced to watch whatever crap they have on the (sometimes working) inflight system!
They keep guns off the planes, much to the chagrin of many a rock-star, and so the terroists use box cutters - I'd be laughing if it wasn't so tragic! They take away the box cutters and fingernail clippers - don't get me started - and so the terrorists try liquid explosives. Everytime we come up with some ridiculous over reaction, they terrorists go one step further. All the while, the average traveler is living a nightmare just trying to get from point A to point B. Hey, TSA! The terrorists are causing terror and you are helping them!
This is all so pointless. If terrorists want to blow up a plane, it won't matter if you keep all the Snapple off or not. Think I'm kidding? Pals, I read far too much Tom Clancy and watch too much CSI! I see the future coming ...
The other night I watched an episode of CSI. Someone was smuggling drugs. They tied up little balloons of heroin, put them in jello and swallowed them. Get to the destination, take a laxative, and instant wealth comes pouring quite literally out of your ass. This is an old and well known trick. Take the same approach to explosives. Swallow the explosives. Heck, you could even swallow a trigger. Blasting caps aren't that large. A blasting cap, a few inches of det cord and a AAA battery could easily be swallowed. I defy any drug sniffing dog to find explosives inside a person! The terrorist passes security, then he has three hours to pass the explosives with the aid of laxatives (bought at the news-stand near the gate!) or he can wait until he gets on the plane before passing his cargo.
I'm figuring the average terrorist could swallow 4 to 6 ounces of explosive plus detonator. Not a gun, but it will leave a large enough hole in a plane to take it out of the sky, not to mention giving a whole lot of passengers their first sky diving lessons. Two or more terrorists on the same flight and it just makes the process more dramatic.
Obviously, I'm no terrorist nor am I an explosives expert. But, if I can concoct something this simple, what's the good of keeping Joe Average from bringing his Leatherman or a Gator-Aide on board?
Of course, now that I think about it - this really is too easy. Why hasn't this been tried? Must be something wrong with my plan. Maybe I need to watch more CSI!
Either way, this all seems really pointless! The terrorists will figure out how to do their business one way or the other, leaving one's Chapstick behind will not stop this. Don't believe? I'm currently reading Tom Clancy's "The Teeth of the Tiger" - chillingly possible. I realize the TSA has to justify their jobs, but inconveniencing passengers will not do it in the long run.
In reaction to this, U.K. and U.S. airport security was stepped up. Once again, the barn door gets closed after the horse has headed for the horizon. Just in case the TSA and its British counterpart missed the coverage on CNN, these terrorists never made it to the airport. But, okay, I'm a big fan of paranoia. I'll allow a little over reaction. Maybe most Americans feel better seeing M16 toting soldiers at their airports, all I see is an innocent bystander - probably me - getting shot. But, we'll allow it for the moment.
They announce that no liquid or gel like substances will be allowed on board a plane. Really? Did I fall asleep and wake up in a bad sitcom? Seriously? No gel like substance? I guess the TSA must fly first class. I personally would rather they passed out gels as people got on the plane. Gels like toothpaste and deodorant! Taking those items away from people before they board the plane makes it even less likely that the smelly masses in coach will use them. Thanks!
What's the point of doing this? First, the terrorists never got to the plane with their liquid explosive. Second - I'M NOT A FREEKIN' TERORIST! Neither are any of the rest of the people boarding planes with shampoo in their carry on luggage. Those people just want to make sure they can wash their hair when the airlines lose their luggage! Third, I don't think the liquid explosives would work. Why? Take the way-back machine for a minute ...
Remember, what, a year ago? There were some terrorists that blew themselves up in London. They loaded explosives into backpacks and blew up some buses. (BTW, if any terrorists are reading this - not very effective, fellas. Most people don't even remember this shit. Morons!) A week or so later, a bunch more terrorists tried the same trick. "Tried" is the key word. Almost all of the terrorists lived, only a few immolated themselves. No one else was killed and short of some smoke damage, nothing else happened. Instead of waking up in Paradise to their 16 virgins, they woke to find a bobby escorting them off to prison, where they would be the virgins!
At the time, one speculation on why the second round of back packs failed was that the explosives expert went up with the first round of attacks. No expert, no boom. So, I wonder if these twonks, without an explosives expert, were trying some concoction they found. Would it actually work? Maybe it would have, I dunno.
Either way, what is the point of making innocent travelers lives more complex? I'm going on a trip in just over a week. I'm heading back to STL for a few days. When I travel, I wear nearly nothing (tee-shirt, shorts, undies - that's all), I wear sandals so they are easy to remove and xray and I always arrive 2 hours ahead, just like I'm told to. Now, they want me to arrive three hours ahead! My flight is at 6 AM! They want me at the airport at 3 AM!! Normally, I'd bring a sack breakfast just to pass the time before the flight. I can bring the breakfast, just as long as there are no gel like condiments or a drink! Get something from a vendor by the gate, you say? At 3 AM?? Not happening. Be my luck one of the security people would see the sandwich and I'd get an M16 enema for too much mayo! Guess I'll starve.
The point is that the average citizen is being punished for no good reason. But, it's not over. I've seen talk on CNN and other sources that maybe we won't be allowed ANY carry on luggage. Brilliant! So now I have to trust my laptop to baggage handlers when I travel for business? They can't handle my bags of clothes without ripping up the bags or worse! My plastic bottles of shampoo and toothpaste explode due to changes in air pressure - thus they are carried in plastic bags. But, what if I'm the only employing this trick? But, I'm supposed to trust my laptop will be secure under there?
The Brits have already outlawed iPods - there's a stroke of brilliance! They think the terrorists were going to use an iPod to make a spark to ignite their explosives. So, now I must be forced to listen to the plane of screaming babies I always seem to get placed on. (Why is it that parents can't hear their kid screaming at the top of its lungs yet, ten rows away, I can hear it?) Plus, Steph is buying me a sweet iPod for our anniversary (my first real iPod!) and I'll have it before my trip. I have spent hours and hours already making iPodible copies of our DVDs that I can carry with me. If they decide to not allow iPods - I'll be forced to watch whatever crap they have on the (sometimes working) inflight system!
They keep guns off the planes, much to the chagrin of many a rock-star, and so the terroists use box cutters - I'd be laughing if it wasn't so tragic! They take away the box cutters and fingernail clippers - don't get me started - and so the terrorists try liquid explosives. Everytime we come up with some ridiculous over reaction, they terrorists go one step further. All the while, the average traveler is living a nightmare just trying to get from point A to point B. Hey, TSA! The terrorists are causing terror and you are helping them!
This is all so pointless. If terrorists want to blow up a plane, it won't matter if you keep all the Snapple off or not. Think I'm kidding? Pals, I read far too much Tom Clancy and watch too much CSI! I see the future coming ...
The other night I watched an episode of CSI. Someone was smuggling drugs. They tied up little balloons of heroin, put them in jello and swallowed them. Get to the destination, take a laxative, and instant wealth comes pouring quite literally out of your ass. This is an old and well known trick. Take the same approach to explosives. Swallow the explosives. Heck, you could even swallow a trigger. Blasting caps aren't that large. A blasting cap, a few inches of det cord and a AAA battery could easily be swallowed. I defy any drug sniffing dog to find explosives inside a person! The terrorist passes security, then he has three hours to pass the explosives with the aid of laxatives (bought at the news-stand near the gate!) or he can wait until he gets on the plane before passing his cargo.
I'm figuring the average terrorist could swallow 4 to 6 ounces of explosive plus detonator. Not a gun, but it will leave a large enough hole in a plane to take it out of the sky, not to mention giving a whole lot of passengers their first sky diving lessons. Two or more terrorists on the same flight and it just makes the process more dramatic.
Obviously, I'm no terrorist nor am I an explosives expert. But, if I can concoct something this simple, what's the good of keeping Joe Average from bringing his Leatherman or a Gator-Aide on board?
Of course, now that I think about it - this really is too easy. Why hasn't this been tried? Must be something wrong with my plan. Maybe I need to watch more CSI!
Either way, this all seems really pointless! The terrorists will figure out how to do their business one way or the other, leaving one's Chapstick behind will not stop this. Don't believe? I'm currently reading Tom Clancy's "The Teeth of the Tiger" - chillingly possible. I realize the TSA has to justify their jobs, but inconveniencing passengers will not do it in the long run.
posted by Jericho Brown at 8/14/2006 12:51:00 AM
8 Comments:
I guess I shan't be seeing you late this month as you have no doubt just put yourself on the "No Fly" list.
Has anyone else noticed how much longer Jericho's posts are than Max's? :) I'll have to dedicate at least half an hour to read all that. I'm a slow reader. :D
Here's my comment:
Terrorists suck... local and abroad.
I thought about the No Fly List before I posted this. Could an American citizen be put on the No Fly List for stating something that frankly I find quite obvious?
Well, if they do, they had better lock me up in a little room and throw away the room - because I will raise the roof! I was born free and I intend to stay that way. They can take away my deodorant and my toothpaste, but they will never take my....
.... FREEDOM!!!!!
There are infants on the "no fly" list. If you read the post I put up after yours, some guy just got arrested for asking IRS employees to quit their jobs. The police state is marching merrily along.
I'm seriously considering moving to NH just to see if freedom can still work in this country.
Wait a tic. You are going to fall in with some Libertairians? Dude. You are reading propaganda from the WAY left. These people are so left, the line between right and left is a dot to them.
They were harassing federal employees in a public place. They were told to back off, and they did it again and again. If this was a wacky christian, coming into your work place, trying to hand you a pamphlet asking you to pray to Jesus - you'd have the guy arrested. Same diff.
One's right to harass federal employees is written no where in the Constitution.
The Libertarians can go off and do whatever they want. They can picket the post office on April 15th trying to get people to not pay their taxes until their heads explode. If one of them marches into my office and asks me to quit my job - I'm calling Homeland Security!
What can I say? Every time I try to move to the center, the stench of government sends me running away.
I know that the hardcore libertarians take it way too far, but the big government types are taking it way too far in the other direction. When the world is going crazy, you have to choose which lunatics to hang out with.
When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.
Hunter S. Thompson
The more I read HST, the more I feel like a sad, little coward. Reading his description at the end of Hell's Angels of how he felt riding his motorcycle at death defying speed and the sense of freedom it gave him, I really feel how many - too many - "safe" choices I have made.
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