Thursday, October 11, 2007

Max: Drain Bump

I was a year and a day ago that I posted my first Brain Dump.

A year ago I was broke and unemployed.

But for just about a month I knew what it was like to be motivated. FOr jsut about a month, I found out what it felt like to not be depressed for what seemed like the first time in my life.

Now, I can picture myself and what I was doing, but I can't remember, I can't even imagine, what it felt like to be a real, functioning human being.

17 Comments:

Blogger Jericho Brown said...

Last I checked you were fully employed. Do you have benefits? Why don't you have meds?

October 12, 2007 9:46 AM  
Blogger Max Dobberstein said...

I have meds.

They are actually working to an extent. That is why I am barely functional rather than non-functional.

October 12, 2007 9:58 AM  
Blogger Jericho Brown said...

Oh. Well, why were you better a year ago and you are "barely" functional now? I don't get it and I don't want to have to go back and read! :)

October 12, 2007 10:11 AM  
Blogger Max Dobberstein said...

I don't have a medical explanation. I know I just started on a particular med. Perhaps I built up a tolerance. That has been known to happen, though usually it takes months to years.

Either way, you won't get it by reading anything I wrote. All you'll get is massive output followed by radio silence. I just remember feeling it slip away, the world growing gray and miserable once again.

October 12, 2007 10:38 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The other day you talked about trying to exersize to deal with depression. This has really worked well for me. Don't even intimidate yourself by trying to worry about a workout routine. If you feel a funk descending, just get up and do something to the point of physical exhaustion, (at our age this can often be done in as little as 5 minutes!) It can be a walk, scrubbing counters, going up a few flights of stairs, cleaning a bathroom, whatever is close at hand and doesn't require any forethought (because productive thinking is overwhelming when I'm in a depressive stupor). Some days you might need to stay busy enough to make an OCD look idle, but most days not so much. Little by little you get more energy and it takes less effort to get your ass in gear and you get a kind of positive cycle going instead of the vicious cycle that sucks at us like a black hole. It won't necessarily convert you to chipper and happy-go-lucky, but it's kept me from getting into that apathetic fugue. This has even made me able to stay grounded and functional during a time where personal tragedy struck in avalanches. And without those nasty side effects to the libido! (Another worthy reason for increasing the energy level!)

I'm sorry to be so long winded and preachy, but I hope some of this might be helpful to you. Not only because I am incredibly sweet and compassionate, but mostly because I realllly loved me some brain dumps!

October 12, 2007 11:23 AM  
Blogger Max Dobberstein said...

You are correct. My schedule doesn't allow for me to get up and move whenever I am depressed and/or anxious, but - since yesterday - I have been aiming for a half hour of movement a day. Yesterday it was the stationary bike before work. Today it will probably be a walk during lunch.

October 12, 2007 11:45 AM  
Blogger Jericho Brown said...

So, Joni, tell us more about exercising your libido! Yow!! :)

October 12, 2007 12:56 PM  
Blogger Max Dobberstein said...

And once again my personal crises takes back seat to someone more interesting.

October 12, 2007 1:19 PM  
Blogger Jericho Brown said...

Did you go for your walk? Did you? Did you? Did you?

Perhaps you should go for a walk after dinner.

Set your alarm and try one at 2 AM.

Then again at 4 AM!

October 12, 2007 2:06 PM  
Blogger Max Dobberstein said...

I had a lovely ramble through the wild corporate region of Chesterfield. How about you?

October 12, 2007 2:45 PM  
Blogger Jericho Brown said...

I sat at my desk and had a yogurt smoothie. It probably went directly to my ass.

My wife goaded me into getting on the scale today - no change from last week. It's enough to drive one to a box of Krispy Kreams.

October 12, 2007 3:40 PM  
Blogger Max Dobberstein said...

Don't you own a treadmill? It's not like you need to run a virtual marathon on in. Put on the iPod and walk as long as you can take, then come back in a day or two and walk a little further.

October 12, 2007 3:52 PM  
Blogger Jericho Brown said...

What? That's crazy talk. I'd interrupt the cats who nap on the treadmill.

October 12, 2007 5:04 PM  
Blogger Max Dobberstein said...

Don't make me have to break out the cattle prod.

October 12, 2007 5:18 PM  
Blogger Laura said...

"scrubbing counters...... cleaning a bathroom,"

I like Joni! :D

October 12, 2007 11:48 PM  
Blogger Laura said...

I hope you keep the excercise routine going, Love. We both need it.

Maybe you two should make a contest out of loosing weight? I'll come up with a big prize for the winner. I mean a serious prize... not like "my love and respect" or "a virtual blow job". hehehe. How about we see who looses more weight by Jan 1? Us wives will keep our men honest and check their weights.

Sound like a deal, boys?

October 12, 2007 11:57 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

1st. Jer, I think you might have skimmed that a little to quickly (and you made me blush :)

2nd. Max, thanks so much for assuming that I'm more interesting!


3rd and most importantly, Laura fill me in on how one gives a virtual blow job! And is it better with dial-up or broadband (ya know, since a slower download might actually be a benefit in this instance!) Also, is it okay if a lady is wireless or would that be kinda disconnected and impersonal?

October 13, 2007 3:47 PM  

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