Max: My Life
There are some days that being a mentally ill, intellectually deficient loser with no money and no prospects just isn't as fun as it sounds.
posted by Max Dobberstein at 4/23/2008 08:43:00 PM
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
11 Comments:
Lucky for you, you don't have to worry about any of that.
Have we met?
It's all about point of view, my padawan.
What standard are we measuring ourselves by?
My mental state compared to Senator Obama? I'm much less stable. As compared to Bush or Cheyney? I'm right as rain!
Pretty much the same could be said for intellectual capacity.
No money? When compared to Bill Gates - sure, you got nothin'! When compared to people who are dying of malaria because they can't afford a $2 pill and a $10 mosquito net? You are wildly rich!
Prospects? Last I heard you got a job that you liked that was paying better than you've been paid in a long time. As for me, I'm in a job I loathe, I have no method to leave, and if I just quit there's no freaking way I can depend on friends and family to support me. We'd be out on our asses in a month.
So, I say again; you got nothing to worry about!
I am clinically depressed and and concentrate unless I consume stimulants. I am less functionally that I need to be to get what I want out of life. I have insufficient funds to pay for distractions to make me forget about how dysfunctional my brain is. I am too dysfunctional to even begin to try to make use of what little spare time I have.
Meanwhile, we have a spare bedroom here...
Don't tempt me.
Besides, the dogs don't like me ... :)
How did you hurt yourself??
Don't tempt me.
Besides, the dogs don't like me ... :)
Offering, not tempting. Consider it an alternative to the clock tower.
How did you hurt yourself??
Injury #1 is a result of failing to predict the trajectory of the punishment of a disobedient aerosol can. Injury #2 was the result of exposure to dihydrogen monoxide.
Laura threw her hair spray at you and made you slip in the shower?
Laura threw her spray paint can at you and made you slip on the ice?
Laura was beating you with a can of silly string then water boarded you?
Carpet cleaner; puddle leaking from our air conditioner.
I'd grill you for more details, but obviously you are having a stressful day ... I hope you feel better.
One of the dogs decided that puking on the carpet was not enough. She had to puke in a corner, well outside the 3 foot radius around myself in which I am capable of noticing things. Laura found it. She was already stressed from the coming end of the semester. An empty can of carpet cleaner was too much. It had to be punished at high velocity. I just got in the way.
The next day, the AC started leaking (since then it has been fixed). While cleaning up the puddle, I did one of my typically graceful dance moves, bending my foot in a direction it had not evolved to bend. I thought it was just sore, but later that night I got up to go to the bathroom and found my right foot failing as a support, but succeeding as a source of intense pain. It has gotten much better since. I am now able to limp along without a cane.
Post a Comment
<< Home