Max: Jack Helafieno - A Real American

(Ominous music)

Bob Statesman says that Jack Helafieno is a violent meth addict with a taste for incestuous necrophilia. But Bob is a liberal elitist. He reads books, even when his TV is not broken. He was recently overheard talking about a recent issue of Playboy. He was talking about an article. He probably doesn't even look at the pictures.

Also, the letters in "Bob" are also used to spell "Obama bin Laden".

Meanwhile, Jack Helafieno has the same first name as Jack Bauer.

Jack Helafieno; a real American.

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