Jericho: Headed for an ear-rrr ache!!!
This post is just me whining! You've been warned!
This week has been goofy. Two of my friends asked me to watch their pets while they were out of town. So, twice a day, I've been heading over to their place, hanging out for two or three hours at a time (isn't unemployment fun!) coming home and doing it again a few hours later - all so their neurotic dog doesn't whiz on the furniture or commit suicide or something.
Now, as my reward, they have a HUGE TV, great sound system and like every cable channel they can afford! (Not to mention an XBox!) I haven't had actual cable TV since I moved into this apartment, about a month ago. So, I got a Law & Order fix, some Military channel (Wings!) and some other good stuff.
Get your mind out of the gutter. They're married - what use would they have for THOSE channels???
Today I'm flipping channels and ran across something I wasn't aware existed. There is a station called VH1 Classic - I guess it's supposed to be Classic Rock - but all of their shows seem to be "Heavy Metal" themed. I say "themed" because three old guys in bowling shirts and Mettalic sweatshirts sitting around talking music trivia like some freaking sports show isn't very "Metal" to me. (It's called "That Metal Show" - wow, even the title is a yawn.)
The first show I saw this morning, about 8 AM was called "Metal Mania". Oh boy. My first clue should have been the graphics for the program - all Day-Glo pinks and greens - also not very "Metal". But, when the first song came on - I got the joke: Bon Jovi's "You Give Love a Bad Name" ... yeah. This wasn't Metal - it was Butt Rock! This was followed up by Kiss with no make-up, a couple of other pretty boy hair-farmers, and finally Kip Winger! (Thus the title of this post! You didn't think I was going to explain that, did ya?)
I couldn't look away. Every time a commercial came on the Military channel show I was watching about how the Japanese bombed Pearl Harbor, out of sheer morbid curiosity I flipped back to see what other poof was ... "Rocking" "Out" - /air quotes.
Finally, the 9 o'clock hour struck. They opened with Quiet Riot. Better - well, not really, but at least there wasn't any leather clad asses shaking or 1980's "I'm too sexy to shave with a sharp razor" stubble. (Fucking Kip Winger!) Next was Scorpions; "Rock You Like a Hurricane". If you thought music videos made no sense, the 1980's European music videos might as well have been filmed on the planet Vulcan - just a sexier Vulcan - with lots of icy-cold, sexy but wholly unattainable blond chicks all crying because you hurt them!
This was followed up with Queensryche. Undoubtedly metal - and they didn't play "Silent Lucidity"! They played the other hit off that album, the title track "Empire". A kick ass song if ever there was. Then Iron Maiden and I had to go when The Cult came on.
Lesson Learned: don't watch "Metal Mania" until after 9 AM!
This week has been goofy. Two of my friends asked me to watch their pets while they were out of town. So, twice a day, I've been heading over to their place, hanging out for two or three hours at a time (isn't unemployment fun!) coming home and doing it again a few hours later - all so their neurotic dog doesn't whiz on the furniture or commit suicide or something.
Now, as my reward, they have a HUGE TV, great sound system and like every cable channel they can afford! (Not to mention an XBox!) I haven't had actual cable TV since I moved into this apartment, about a month ago. So, I got a Law & Order fix, some Military channel (Wings!) and some other good stuff.
Get your mind out of the gutter. They're married - what use would they have for THOSE channels???
Today I'm flipping channels and ran across something I wasn't aware existed. There is a station called VH1 Classic - I guess it's supposed to be Classic Rock - but all of their shows seem to be "Heavy Metal" themed. I say "themed" because three old guys in bowling shirts and Mettalic sweatshirts sitting around talking music trivia like some freaking sports show isn't very "Metal" to me. (It's called "That Metal Show" - wow, even the title is a yawn.)
The first show I saw this morning, about 8 AM was called "Metal Mania". Oh boy. My first clue should have been the graphics for the program - all Day-Glo pinks and greens - also not very "Metal". But, when the first song came on - I got the joke: Bon Jovi's "You Give Love a Bad Name" ... yeah. This wasn't Metal - it was Butt Rock! This was followed up by Kiss with no make-up, a couple of other pretty boy hair-farmers, and finally Kip Winger! (Thus the title of this post! You didn't think I was going to explain that, did ya?)
I couldn't look away. Every time a commercial came on the Military channel show I was watching about how the Japanese bombed Pearl Harbor, out of sheer morbid curiosity I flipped back to see what other poof was ... "Rocking" "Out" - /air quotes.
Finally, the 9 o'clock hour struck. They opened with Quiet Riot. Better - well, not really, but at least there wasn't any leather clad asses shaking or 1980's "I'm too sexy to shave with a sharp razor" stubble. (Fucking Kip Winger!) Next was Scorpions; "Rock You Like a Hurricane". If you thought music videos made no sense, the 1980's European music videos might as well have been filmed on the planet Vulcan - just a sexier Vulcan - with lots of icy-cold, sexy but wholly unattainable blond chicks all crying because you hurt them!
This was followed up with Queensryche. Undoubtedly metal - and they didn't play "Silent Lucidity"! They played the other hit off that album, the title track "Empire". A kick ass song if ever there was. Then Iron Maiden and I had to go when The Cult came on.
Lesson Learned: don't watch "Metal Mania" until after 9 AM!
4 Comments:
You have to ease into good music. Too much early on will give you gas all day. Just like good food.
I'm not going to sit here and brainlessly point out Mr. Jericho's flaws—we all know he has them—but I am going to say a little about how Jericho's subordinates always detect profound wisdom in what is most incomprehensible to them personally. In the text that follows, I won't bother discussing the flaws in Jericho's logic because he surely doesn't use any logic. Please don't misinterpret that last statement to mean that it's inappropriate to teach children right from wrong. That's not at all what it means. Rather, it means that if we don't do something soon, Jericho's vexatious ideologies will rise like a golem with a million hands on a million throats to choke the honor out of decent, hardworking people.
Jericho will waste hours and hours of our time in fruitless conferences and meetings eventually. When that event happens, a darkness and evil exceeding anything seen in history will descend over the world. I can hope only that before it does, people will get people to sign a petition to limit Jericho's ability to cause trouble. Only then can we break the neck of Jericho's policy of scapegoatism once and for all. I have the strength, ability, desire, and courage to tell him how wrong he is. Do you? Common-sense understanding of human nature tells us that he is trying hard to convince a substantial number of uncompanionable criminal masterminds to supplant one form of injustice with another. He presumably believes that the "hundredth-monkey phenomenon" will spontaneously incite noisome, querulous antagonists to behave likewise. The reality, however, is that Jericho's complaints are becoming increasingly disorderly. They have already begun to spit on sacred icons. Now fast-forward a few years to a time in which they have enabled Jericho to hasten the destruction of our civilization. If you don't want such a time to come then help me carry out the famous French admonition, écrasez l'infâme!, against Jericho's bromides. Help me take steps toward creating an inclusive society free of attitudinal barriers.
Where does the line get drawn? Jericho doesn't use words for communication or for exchanging information. He uses them to disarm, to hypnotize, to mislead, and to deceive. The end.
Ummm ... Thanks?
Y'all come back now! Hear?
They usually aren't so focussed on the whole Hair Metal Mania thing. Rock Fest is generally less obnoxious.
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