Jericho: Introduction to Induction

Well, it's day three of the diet. I'm sitting here at work, I'm wearing my patch on my hip, I haven't cheated a bit or even wanted to cheat. I'm a little hungry - but an excellent lunch awaits me as soon as I'm done writing this!

Saturday I spent the day reading the Atkins book. I plowed through 140 or so pages, through the first Phase, Induction and into the info on going from Induction to the next Phase, Ongoing Weight Loss (OWL). There is some pretty amazing stuff in the book. People losing four and five pounds a week! The average dieter loses 1.5 to 2 pounds a week. The average weight loss claim shows people who lost bundles of pounds, but the say right away "Not typical results, you will likely lose 1- 2 pounds a week." Dr. Atkins kept giving these incredible results, like 90 pounds in six months, and he never once backed up and said these results were unusual. As a matter of fact, at one point he said his example was "not a-typical". If even half his claims are correct, I'll be darned pleased! Three pounds a week, 12 pounds a month, 150 pounds a year, would be just fine. I would be very happy to be at 325 this time next year. I'm aiming for 200 overall. At three pounds a week, I'll be there in less than two years, and that's not bad!

Some of the other claims are panning out. First, they say that you may be tired the first couple of days of Induction, as you go from burning carbs to burning fat for energy. That one was true! I don't know if I'm in lypolisys/ketosis (burning fat), but, man! I crashed pretty hard yesterday. I couldn't keep myself awake. I was lacking a little sleep, no caffeine and I forgot my patch (gasp!) yesterday, but I don't think those two would have put me that far under. Either way, I couldn't keep my eyes open all day, and I went home last night and just went to bed. I even missed dinner - not a smart thing to do, but I would have fallen asleep over my plate!

Usually, about 3 or 4 in the afternoon, I start looking or sweets. I haven't in the last couple days. The book said sugar cravings will dry up. Well, I don't know if it's the diet, or the fact that I really want this to work and I don't want to mess it up for a cookie, but, something kept me out of free sweets tray on our 48th floor. I passed up some really good cookies, there, too! I went back to my desk and had a slice of turkey and some cheese.

Induction would normally last only two weeks, but those resistant to weight loss or those with more weight to lose, they suggest remaining on it a little longer. So, at the end of the two weeks, Steph and I are going to look at where we are and decide if we want to go on or not. Induction has been pretty easy so far. The rules are simple and the food list is pretty plain. But, you don't want to get bored and go off of it. We'll see, right now it's only 11 days out, and I'm not suffering. If we add two weeks then, well, I'm no worse off. I really want this to work!

I have been a fat git my entire life. It's getting a little old, ya know. I'm tired of kids in the market pointing at me and saying "that man is fat". Old men at the bus stop making comments. I don't care if these people are insane or just kids or whatever, I don't want to be seen as "the fat guy" anymore. I'm done with that, I'm bored of that. There's more to me that this slab o' flab on my abdomen.

Speaking of that, Steph and I took "before" pictures on Monday. Jeesh! I look like I'm pregnant with a horse! My back fat has back fat! There's no wonder I'm having back problems. Just standing normally, I lean back so far that I look like I'm trying to emphasize my stomach. It's disgusting!

I don't want to be disgusting any more. I health depends on it. Steph deserves better. I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired.

This has got to work. It's just got to work.

I'm 25% of the man I could be!

I just got a call from my doctor. I have a serious medical issue. I couldn't BE any happier!

She got back the results of my testosterone test. She tells me she usually targets men to be at 400. I am at 120 - about a quarter of the hormone level I should have. Who knows how long I have been this way?

Testosterone can increase metabolism, improve muscle tone and the construction of lean muscle mass. It will help me lower my blood sugar and help me on the road to cure most of what ails me.

I go on the patch tomorrow ...

Jericho: Insulin Intolerance

So, you may have noticed my lack of presence on the site. I'll admit it, I've been a little discouraged and even a bit depressed. I don't have much to talk about, it's hot in the room with the computer - I'm writing this from work, other excuses. Primarily, I feel old and boring.

This started about two weeks ago - what am I saying? This really started over a decade ago! As most of you are aware, I am fat - and I'll have more to say on that later. Excessive fat, obesity, does a whole lot of bad crap to the body. In fat males more often than females, a condition can show up called Sleep Apnea. Basically, you stop breathing in your sleep. People with this condition can stop breathing 500 times a night or more! With me, I can sleep on my sides fine - I probably do stop breathing, but I don't notice it. I say this because I have some of the other symptoms of Apnea; waking up tired, loss of concentration, etc. However, if I attempt to sleep on my back, the moment I fall asleep, I stop breathing. I wake up a minute later and intake a huge breath - like someone surfacing in a swimming pool.

So, two weeks ago, I had a night where I was doing this "surfacing" routine no matter which position I slept in. Finally it got so bad, I had a rush of adrenaline going from fearing for my life. Yeah, not much way I was getting back to sleep that night. I did finally drift off hours later, but, Steph made a doctor's appointment for me when she woke up.

My weight has gotten pretty bad and I know it. I'm also not sticking to ay decent diet, and no exercise. It's getting to the point that I am starting to feel some desperation and I'm looking for other answers. My friend Angi had a form of gastric by-pass surgery and has had some real results. There are all kinds of examples in the media of gastric by-passes working very well. So, I was thinking in that vein. I intended to ask the doctor about that.

Yesterday was my appointment. She wanted to do a full physical, just to establish a base line. We sat down and talked about several things before she examined me. One of the first things she asked me was if I had tried any drugs for weight loss? I smiled and said "No. Do they have a diet in a pill form, now?" She said, no, of course not, but that there were some drugs that gave some results. She suggested this as a step to take before we went for a gastric by-pass, as I am already trying to get to the gym more often and have made some life changes/eating habit changes. We talked more and I mentioned that my sexual appetite was pretty low for a 32 year old male. She said that testing my testosterone levels might prove useful, as low testosterone can lower metabolism.

She examined me and they did a blood work up. The first thing she noticed on my exam was that I had a sinus infection! I hadn't even noticed, although I am noticing it today. I'm taking big pink pills for that. My BP was 120 over 80, fine.  The blood work came back, typically, my blood sugar is fine, but my cholesterol will be just under 200, making me "High Normal" and that really rattles a doctor's cage - but I've been that way since I was a kid! Good news, my cholesterol was 160 - not super but good enough. However, that was also the level of my blood sugar - 40 points above normal. The last time I checked my blood sugar, it was 135, which is above 120, but I had just had a seriously carb-loaded meal and I made no effort to cut into my carbs anytime before. However, this was well above where it should be. Great - I'm diabetic!

The doctor has a theory. It's not diabetes - she thinks I'm Insulin Intolerant. I can't find a reference to this on Wed-MD, but what she described sounds lot like what they call Insulin Resistance. Have a look at this link if you want more info. So, my body isn't using the insulin I'm producing, forcing the body to produce more, leaving me with high blood sugar and even wild swings in blood sugar. Her prescription: Atkins.

Okay, I have been a jerk about just about every diet fad that has shown up on the scene. Weight loss isn't easy, and anyone who thinks a fad diet will get them to a healthy weight and keep them there needs to think again. However, people do seem to be having results with this diet and the fad is becoming an establishment. I shared these thoughts with my doctor, she said she felt the same way, she distrusted the diet until recently. She spoke with a cardiololgist friend of hers about Atkins. The cardiologist told her that people with this condition can greatly benefit from Atkins, that not only does their blood sugar decrease, so does their cholesterol. She was skeptical, but she suggested it to a few of her patients - and it worked as described.

So, the plan is to do full-bore Atkins for six weeks, plus continue my efforts at an exercise routine. At that time, we'll run a fasting glucose test and see what results we get. If there are really good results, great, rinse and repeat. If there are less than impressive results, we'll look to add some drugs to the mixture. I'll get my testosterone results in a few days, and we might add that to the mix if need be. If there are no results, then we will look to other solutions. Her hope is that we can achieve weight loss without going under the knife and that the weight loss will deal with the apnea.

My friend Angi called. I told her about my results, and she asked me how much I weighed. Well, no normal scale can get my weight. Most normal scales stop at 350. So, Angi came and got me and dragged me to her doctor's office where they have a scale that looks like it's more suited to weighing cargo instead of people. I got on and it did it's thing. It came up 475.8. Yes, I had my shoes off.

Well, I'm pretty frustrated. I mean, I knew shit was bad, but not this bad! I'm damn near diabetic and I weigh a quarter ton! Angi delivered me to Steph and I asked Steph if we could go buy the Adkins book so I could get started.

Well, we bought a book, "Adkins for Life", but when I got it home and started reading it, it wasn't the book about the core diet. Feck!!! I was just depressed, pissed, I pretty much crawled into my pillow and tried to forget the world for a while.

I don't know what will happen from here. We'll probably go to the gym tonight and buy the actual book this weekend. I'm feeling really defeated, but I have answers and solutions - the trouble shooting/problem solving part of my brain won't rest until those steps have been tried. We'll see - right now I'm going to go buy some terryaki with lots of veggies and no rice.

Max: Meat hook dangling craze mystifies police

Meat hook dangling craze mystifies police

This story pretty much defines "too much free time."

Max: Schwarzenegger Provokes Anger With 'Girlie-Men' Remark

Schwarzenegger Provokes Anger With 'Girlie-Men' Remark

I lvoe my party. I want us to take the White House and Congress this year. At the same time, some of us really need to grow a sense of humour.

Max: New Cave

The Mrs. and I are moved into our new house. At least we a sleeping,
shitting and showering here. At the moment we have no food, no
stove, no plates or silverware, no TV. I would have killed myself
by now had they not installed my cable modem today.

Jericho: I never do this!

An email was passed onto me by a loyal reader (Thanks, Liz!) and I just have to share. This is one of those things that gets routed around the internet, you may have already read it. The details are not all accurate and some of the bits are down right inflamatory. I don't agree with everything on the list. But, over all, it's pretty darned funny. Consider this my first volley in the '04 election mud-slinging durby!

Things you have to believe to be a Republican today:

1. Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime, unless you're a conservative radio host. Then it's an illness and you need our prayers for your recovery.

2. The United States should get out of the United Nations, and our highest national priority is enforcing U.N. resolutions against Iraq.

3. Government should relax regulation of Big Business and Big Money but crack down on individuals who use marijuana to relieve the pain of illness.

4. "Standing Tall for America" means firing your workers and moving their jobs to India.

5. A woman can't be trusted with decisions about her own body, but multi-national corporations can make decisions affecting all mankind without regulation.

6. Jesus loves you, and shares your hatred of homosexuals and Hillary Clinton.

7. The best way to improve military morale is to praise the troops in speeches while slashing veterans' benefits and combat pay.

8. Group sex and drug use are degenerate sins unless you someday run for governor of California as a Republican.

9. If condoms are kept out of schools, adolescents won't have sex.

10. A good way to fight terrorism is to belittle our long-time allies, then demand their cooperation and money.

11. HMOs and insurance companies have the best interests of the public at heart.

12. Providing health care to all Iraqis is sound policy. Providing health care to all Americans is socialism.

13. Global warming and tobacco's link to cancer are junk science, but creationism should be taught in schools.

14. Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him, a bad guy when Bush's daddy made war on him, a good guy when Cheney did business with him and a bad guy when Bush needed a "we can't find Bin Laden" diversion.

15. A president lying about an extramarital affair is an impeachable offense. A president lying to enlist support for a war in which thousands die is solid defense policy.

16. Government should limit itself to the powers named in the Constitution, which include banning gay marriages and censoring the Internet.

17. The public has a right to know about Hillary's cattle trades, but George Bush's driving record is none of our business.

18. You support states' rights, which means Attorney General John Ashcroft can tell states what local voter initiatives they have the right to adopt.

19. What Bill Clinton did in the 1960s is of vital national interest, but what Bush did in the '80s is irrelevant.

20. Trade with Cuba is wrong because the country is communist, but trade with China and Vietnam is vital to a spirit of international harmony.

Max: Max Found Alive, Despite Best Efforts

Yeah, yeah. I've been busy.

A few months ago Laura and I decided to take up biking. We are both somewhat overweight and way out of shape and biking seemed like a fun, low impact way of trying to reverse that. Plus, Laura's parents were taking up biking as well so it would prove to be good excuse to hang out with them. So, we got a couple of cheap bikes, a couple of dorky helmets and various other biking knick knacks and hit the trails.

After a ride one week, Laura's parents mentioned that a house down the street from theirs in the county was about to be put up for sale. Laura has been keen to find a new house since about 2 days after we bought this one. She has hated living in the city, has hated living on the second floor of our two family, has hated the small yard. Me, I don't much care where we live. I would not mind quieter neighbors. I would not mind not living on the second floor. All I really care about is having a reasonably comfortable place to live in a decent neighborhood that won't impoverish us. So, off and on we have gone looking for a house that will meet those needs. Years of searching had brought us no luck. But we were always keen to try so we gave this place a look.

The house was twice the size of ours, the back yard was bigger than the entire lot our current house sits on. It was at the high end of our price range, but still within it. And it was in good enough shape to move into and live comfortably, but rough enough to give Laura an excuse to go HGTV and personalize it to her little hearts content. Even Laura's dad was excited about it. So, we put a deposit down to keep the owners from selling it to someone else and set about selling this house.

On the recommendation of my parents, we hired a certain realtor whom I should name for the good of the public at large. Big mistake. He gave us bad advice from the start and let us get ourselves into a position where we were at the mercy of a single buyer. He was one of the first people to look at the house and he offered us what looked like a great deal at time. It was only after we had turned everyone one else away that he started to nickel and dime us to a shitty deal that came well short of what we considered our minimum. Our realtor who put us a the mercy of this schmuck did nothing to help. That is unless you consider ignoring us, insulting our intelligence and occasionally find the time to remind us that we are indeed screwed to be help.

It is almost over. Next week the give up this house, move to our new one and get on with our so called lives.

That is what has been occupying the few moments I have had away from work this past month.

In other news, I was recently informed that I was accepted to attend Victor Wooten's Bass Nature Camp. It is nice to occasionally get some good news.