Jericho (Channeled by Max): "Being Jericho" Updated

Click here to find out why Jericho is so irate.

Max: Sen Jim Webb (D-VA) Takes On American Injustice System

Let's start with a premise that I don't think a lot of Americans are aware of. We have 5% of the world's population; we have 25% of the world's known prison population. We have an incarceration rate in the United States, the world's greatest democracy, that is five times as high as the average incarceration rate of the rest of the world. There are only two possibilities here: either we have the most evil people on earth living in the United States; or we are doing something dramatically wrong in terms of how we approach the issue of criminal justice.

...

The elephant in the bedroom in many discussions on the criminal justice system is the
sharp increase in drug incarceration over the past three decades. In 1980, we had 1,000 drug offenders in prison; today we have more than 500,000, an increase of 1,200%. The blue disks represent the numbers in 1980; the red disks represent the numbers in 2007 and a significant percentage of those incarcerated are for possession or nonviolent offenses stemming from drug addiction and those sorts of related behavioral issues.

I want to emphasize to my colleagues and to others that the issues that we face with
respect to criminal justice are not overall racial issues. In many cases these issues involve people’s ability to have proper counsel and other issues, but there are stunning statistics with respect to drugs that we all must come to terms with. African-Americans are about 12% of our population; contrary to a lot of thought and rhetoric, their drug use rate in terms of frequent drug use rate is about the same as all other elements of our society, about 14%. But they end up being 37% of those arrested on drug charges, 59% of those convicted, and 74% of those sentenced to prison by the numbers that have been provided by us.

You can read his entire speech here (PDF).

Jericho: End the War on Drugs!

"How many prison cells are filled with drug offenders? And how many corrections officers does it take to guard them? How much food do these convicts consume?

"And when they get out, how many parole and probation officers does it take to supervise their release? And how many ex-offenders turn right around and do it again?

"So how's this war on drugs going?"

Click here to read the rest - go Jim!

Max: Donations Go To Pot

CNN Political Ticker: All politics, all the time - Blogs from CNN.com

Marijuana backers aren't laughing about President Obama's flippant dismissal of a pot-related question during Thursday's online town hall meeting — and the country's leading marijuana advocacy group, The National Organization for the Reform of Marijuana Laws, has seen its donations quadruple over the last 24 hours.

Max: The Wit And Wisdom of Michelle Bachmann (R-MN)

Max: The Geeks Are In Control, Beyotch!

see more Political Pictures

Max: End The Drug War

Commentary: Legalize drugs to stop violence - CNN.com

Over the past two years, drug violence in Mexico has become a fixture of the daily news. Some of this violence pits drug cartels against one another; some involves confrontations between law enforcement and traffickers.

Recent estimates suggest thousands have lost their lives in this 'war on drugs.'

The U.S. and Mexican responses to this violence have been predictable: more troops and police, greater border controls and expanded enforcement of every kind. Escalation is the wrong response, however; drug prohibition is the cause of the violence.

Prohibition creates violence because it drives the drug market underground. This means buyers and sellers cannot resolve their disputes with lawsuits, arbitration or advertising, so they resort to violence instead.

I have my doubts that even this will cause people to lose faith in the Drug War religion, but here's hoping.

Max: Bad Astronomy

The always entertaining and enlightening blog of scholar, writer, alpha-geek and JREF President Dr. Phil Plait can be found here. Go there.

Jericho: Blow-Outs

Today started off very well. I woke up around 10. I'm not used to sleeping nearly that late any more - even on weekends. But, I guess I needed the sleep and I felt pretty good.

I walked out of the bedroom to the sounds of people lifting boxes and toting bales. We've had a roommate for about six months and today Steph was helping him move out. I was hoping they would be quick and that I would get to spend the day alone playing WoW. This was just a dream and I knew it. I knew that I would get sucked into helping.

Sure enough, I was lifting and toting in no time. Sigh! Oh well. If I helped it would be over sooner, right? I didn't even bother with eating, this will be quick - right???

Steph and the roommate rented a truck. We put his junk in the truck. It barely filled the thing. Apparently, when Steph went to pick up the truck, their computers were down, so they gave her a much larger truck than had been reserved. This would have been great - except the roommate didn't need the extra space. We could have held a rock concert in the back of this truck and still had room for his stuff!

I got in the truck with Steph, we were heading off to drop the roommate's stuff at a storage place. About ten miles down the road, something smacked into the driver-side window. No broken glass, no foul - we drove on.

A few minutes later, the lady in the car next to us was pantomiming her heart out. Apparently, we had blown out a tire! The ride in the truck was so rough, we hadn't noticed we were grinding the tire into bits. When we slowed down, we could definitely tell. Whoops!


While Steph was calling the rental company's roadside assistance, I got out and snapped the picture. The tire was pretty gone. My bet is that a piece of the tire, or whatever destroyed the tire, was what popped up and hit the driver's side window. Steph waited on hold forever. Finally she got through. The lady told her she needed to make some calls and would call Steph back. We called the roommate, he was on his way to sign the paperwork at the storage place. Fifteen or so minutes passed, the lady called us back and said we needed to call a local place to get someone to come to us. Great. Steph made the call, they answered right away and said the guy who would fix the tire was on his way. It could be a while, since it was a Sunday. Super!


Steph calls the roommate and tells him that we are going to be waiting a while. Could he bring us back a bag of burgers after he is done with the paperwork? He agreed. All that was left was for us to sit and wait. It might be an hour, it might be an hour and a half - no one was sure. We sat and talked and talked and sat. At one point, Steph reaches into her shirt, and then nearly pops herself in the face with her own hand. I look over at her, wondering if the boredom was getting to her. A look of shock and unbelieving consumes her face as she struggled with something under her shirt. I asked what was wrong and she shows me the contents of her hand - a broken zipper, the one in the picture. (Okay, that zipper isn't just broken, it's destroyed!) You see, Steph was wearing a sports bra. I've seen her do this a thousand times; she'll tug on the zipper because it's started to come open. Only this time, the zipper self destructed and rendered her front closure bra useless. We had a good chuckle as she tried to figure out how to keep her boobs in her Blunder Bra. Finally, she called the roommate and told him to forget the burgers, come pick her up so she could go buy a new bra!


The roommate showed up and Steph and he left me to wait for the guy. I waited a while longer, wondering what the hell could go wrong with our day next? What other misadventures might await? I also wondered if I was going to end up as a statistic - a gruesome piece on local news. You see, we parked in the weird shoulder between the highway and an off ramp, apparently, this is called a gore point (Is that not a lovely term or what? So glad I didn't know this fact while I was sitting there!) People were whipping past us at 60+ MPH, shaking the truck. But, worse, people kept diving into the off ramp, nearly missing the truck. A few had the audacity to HONK at the truck - as if it was our fault that they decided it was better to risk their lives with a stupid stunt than to drive on and come back and perform the maneuver safely. And people look at me funny when I say that drivers should be tested regularly and that we should work to remove humans from controlling vehicles. Sheesh!


The guy showed up a little later. The guy's name was Dale. And, my friends, Dale was a bad ass! He got the tire off in record time - he was totally true to the NASCAR baseball cap he was wearing. Then, he went to work on the tire, removing it from the hub. I've seen this done in service shops with a big device that spins the tire around - but not Dale! No, he went to town with a pick-axe that looked more like a mining or farming implement. Four over-head swings and the tire and hub are separate components. The new tire was fit on top of the hub and Dale attacked it with the two bars pictured - it snapped over the hub with practiced ease. Dale had the tire back on the truck, aired up and paperwork done in about ten minutes. All I could do was tip him and wave to him as he drove into the sunset. High Ho, Silver!

Steph and the roommate showed back up. It was about 1 PM by this point. We decided to get the truck unloaded then get food. Probably not a smart move for two diabetics, but we were all pretty frustrated.

We got to the storage place and began unloading. After the first load, I was on the elevator back down to the truck with the roommate. You see, I hadn't had my, um, daily constitutional, yet. Max can attest to my power to produce gas - but when I was around him, they were loud and sloppy sounding but with little smell since they were the result of CO2 from WAY too much soda. However, I passed gas in the elevator and it was one of the most disgusting things I've ever produced! It made the roommate nearly gag. The extra time in my system had had a serious effect! Needless to say (as most of this paragraph is) I immediately made use of the storage place's hygienic facilities.

Lunch was had and our day's misadventures were mostly at an end. I am left to wonder ... who is Dale saving now?

Jericho: Go Spend Money!

I keep hearing people lament "Where's my bailout?"

CNN and other sites seem to be running story after story about how to become a hermit and live on boiled wall paper and spend no money.

Folks, listen up! No one cares about you.

That's right. You are a faceless voter and consumer. You are just a number. Obama doesn't know who you are. No one at AIG knows who you are. You are just a walking wallet who once every four years is of interest to the politicians. The rest of the time, they couldn't care less about you.

As an individual, you are powerless. In vast numbers, we are unstoppable.

We've proven this. We the people, much to the surprise of the Religious Reich, elected a President who can speak in full sentences and knows that there is more to life than war and lining the pockets of his friends. And, in case you haven't noticed, he's Black. It shouldn't have been possible, but we did it. It wasn't done with (just) large campaign contributions. Most of the money that elected Obama came from small time contributors, giving $5 and $10 bucks.

In vast numbers, we are unstoppable.

People are scared right now. We've seen huge companies crumble under their own weight. This effects a key economic predictor: Consumer Confidence. When massive manufacturers and huge banks disappear from the landscape, when our 401ks become 201ks, Joe the Plumber and Bob the Builder and Hank the Sex Worker start looking at their finances. The first inclination is to run away and hide. Previously, most of us would have shoved our money in the bank and left it there to gain a 0.0001 percentage point of interest. But, when you aren't sure from day to day who your bank actually might be - well, let's just say all of this can shake up consumer confidence.

But, I want you to think about this phrase: "Consumer Confidence" - it's as simple of a thing as it sounds. If the consumers feel threatened, they stop spending. If they stop spending, many businesses change their attitudes. They produce fewer products, close shops that were risky and raise prices to keep their numbers up or drop prices to keep moving product. Closing doors means fewer jobs and price instability confuses people, both of these lower consumer confidence and the cycle repeats.

We've been going through a long term Consumer Confidence trough since 9/11. We had some short term improvements until this recent financial run and we are now in territory that your grandparents and great-grandparents would recognize. People keep using words like "Recession" and then whisper the word "Depression" - don't be fooled, this is a Depression.

However, are you on a soup line? No, neither am I. Sure, there are lots of people out of work, more than usual. But it isn't 50% unemployment, it's not even 10% nationally. There are already indications of improvement - something I predicted would happen not long after Obama took office and here we are.

It comes down to this: no one is going to bail you out. All of the business world is looking at the lot of us, waiting for us to react. If we keep hoarding our money and learning tips on how to live on ramen and shop with coupons, this Depression will move into Great Depression territory.

However, if you, like me, are tired of feeling powerless - do something about it. "What do I do?" you ask? Simple. Prove your own Consumer Confidence ...

Go Buy Something!

That's right. Tonight, look at your finances. Really look. Make sure your bills are paid and that you can eat between now and next paycheck. If there is anything left, figure 20% of it and ... go spend it!

"I'm broke" you say. Fine, you're exempt. But, make sure you are broke. Seriously. Do you have room on your credit card? Spend some of it. Do you have some emergency funds socked away? This is an emergency - spend some of it.

You have all kinds of excuses. The weekend is coming - go have fun! Buy some food and drink at a local pub. Take the coin jar to a Coin Star and then head for the casino! Spring is around the corner - hit some of the smaller, funky clothing shops that you always mean to check out and buy a new wardrobe. Sure, you could go to the big box stores, but a $50 sale in a small store will do more for the economy than $50 at Sears or Amazon. Let's practice a little "trickle up" economics!

Yeah, I'm probably saying things in direct opposition to what the "experts" are saying. Do you feel the experts are getting us out of this situation? I sure don't! The big thinkers out there rely on we dumb-ass consumers to part with our hard earned cash. Guess what? Those big thinkers work for your employer. When I part with my cash, some of it ends up in your paycheck. If there are six degrees to Kevin Bacon, I bet I can make it from my wallet to your wallet in less than ten degrees.

If the sales go up, the Consumer Confidence indicator changes and that forces businesses to react accordingly. It really is just that simple. In vast numbers, we are unstoppable and if you want to keep your job, you need to invest in your own future. Don't buy ramen, buy steak, prepared in a little restaurant near your home. Do it. I give you permission to go have a little fun.

Trust me, if you don't do this, we'll all regret it. Spread the idea around. Invite your friends out to spend money. Talk it up in your blogs. Twitter it. Get the idea out there. I need a new job and I need you people to improve the economy so that I can get one.

And, if there is any doubt, I have already put my money where my mouth is. I put a down payment on a couch for my new apartment. Sure, I could use the beat up one we have. But, instead, I'm buying a new cool one, totally on credit. It's a completely stupid idea that is the best thing in the world for the economy.

Unstoppable!

Max: Faux News Eats Its Own

Of course, from what I have seen Shep Smith is probably the closest thing Faux News has to a rational voice.

Jericho: "Being Jericho" Redux

I guess we're pretty much out of the closet about this: Steph and I are getting divorced. Most of the six readers of this blog already know that. Heck, a third of those readers are the ones getting divorced!

I don't feel like going into the details - too close to the subject matter right now. Let's just say that it's amicable and a fact of my life.

So, a whole lot of stuff is going to change. Steph and I already have separate apartments that we'll soon be moving into. Neither of us have lived alone in nearly a decade. We're in the process of moving money and loans and debt. The good news is since we don't own anything or have any kids, there's nothing to divide up, other than our considerable debt.

There was a dust up over who got the William Hung CD. I bought it for her as a joke. She didn't want it. I told her I'll mail it back to her with an envelope of anthrax if it ended up in my stuff. We compromised. Each of us is burdened with half of the disc. We ran it through the food processor so it could be evenly divided.

So, we're packing and doing all the things that need to get done. Once all the practical matters are out of the way and we're in our own places, we'll worry about the paperwork. It took one signature on one piece of paper to get married. Looks like it takes a lot more than that to get un-married.

The big things are important and need to get done, it's the little things that drive the message home. I don't wear much jewelery, so what the hell am I going to do with my wedding ring? I have reminders on all my email accounts that have calendars for important dates like birthdays, anniversaries and Valentines day - I bet those are going to come back to haunt me for years until I get around to deleting them all.

And, last and most certainly least ... Being Jericho.

For those of you that don't know (and judging by the hit counter, no one knows) there is a link on the left over there somewhere marked "Being Jericho". It's something I started up seven or so years ago. I was feeling some nostalgia for the old "Make Your Own Adventure" books and had recently seen "Being John Malkovich". I put the two ideas together and tried to come up with a funny choose-your-own-path concept that distilled my life. Of course I took license here and there, but, in 2005 when I put it up, it was pretty close to what it's like to be me.

My plan was to expand it and add all kinds of funny and weird stuff to it. Yeah - I have no follow through. I added one little bit to it in 2007 and that's been it.

I looked at it today. Wow. If I were to write this thing today to reflect my life, it would be completely different. I thought maybe I could just rewrite all the stuff that would change because of the divorce, but there's so much of it I might as well just begin fresh. Hell, one of the driving factors to the story, if you can call it that, is Steph:

Stephanie, your wife, is already up and around. You can hear her playing with the cats in the other room. She is much more of a morning person than you will ever be. Half the reason that you actually go to work is that you love your wife and you don't want to disappoint her.

Lots of other stuff has changed as well. One spot mentioned four cats, we haven't had four cats in years. Further, I won't have any cats in a few weeks and they are the catalyst in several spots early on. My job has degraded so much that the later parts of the "story" ring fairly false as well.

I realize that "Being Jericho" is a meaningless, worthless waste of time - but when I wrote it I set out to have a fun if fictional, fairly accurate distillation of my life. In a few weeks, "Being Jericho" will be a very different game.

Jericho: Altar Boy

I spend far more time thinking about exercise than actually doing any.

Today, I thought about doing push-ups. In my current, unbelievably fat and out of shape state, I have very little upper body strength - especially not for my size. Adding some bulk to my arms would be a good, healthy pursuit. Cheap one, too. No need for equipment or gym memberships to do push ups. However, I'm so out of shape that just getting onto the floor in a push-up position would be a workout for me!

I was trying to decide which would be less painful; starting with "girl push-ups", as in, doing push-ups while on my knees and as I lose weight working up to normal "military" push-ups, or just starting with a normal push-up. Both have advantages and disadvantages. With the multitude of problems I have with my feet, contorting them and putting the stresses on them that would be required in pushing-up a 500 pound body might be too much to ask. However, putting those stresses on my knees does not sound any better.

I remembered that at one time in my life, I had very few issues with my knees. In fact, I was quite good at kneeling. I was an altar boy for three or four years in grade school. I was quite used to kneeling and genuflecting - constantly and for hours at a time. I frequently did two or more masses in a row. I often did double shifts (did two week day masses for a full week) and then would do a funeral after mass. There are a couple instances where altar boys were called upon to sit (read: kneel) in vigil. I could go for hours and only be bored, but not in pain.

Sure, I was young and weighed about a third of what I weigh now - I had a little extra weight when I was a kid. But, the body also does some amazing things to protect itself. At some point I noticed that I had developed ... nodules ... on my knees. I had some kind of fat or calcium deposit that added cushion to my knees. The little nodules faded as I went through high school & college. But, in grade school I was a kneeling machine! Too bad those days are gone. I tried to genuflect earlier, something I used to be able to do without a thought to my body. My toes still hurt, I nearly fell on my face and the whole process sounded like my body was making pop corn!

Somewhere in all this remembering, I came back to that 14 year old kid, in his cassock, leading processions and helping the priests conduct their twice daily miracles. Crazy kid. Here he was, 14, starting to feel like a man, being filled with some of the "Christian Warrior" doctrine of the Catholic Church and ... playing Dungeons & Dragons.



I was a big kid, getting close to six foot. In a procession, they usually had three altar boys, the tall one went in the middle. Typically, I cleared the other boys by a clear foot. The shorter boys typically carried a processional candle. I got to carry the processional cross. This thing was huge! It was about eight or nine foot long. It was a pretty serious gauge of brass pipe. The top had a cross bar of the same brass pipe - ours was much like the one pictured above, without as large of a cross bar. But, instead of a crucified Christ, there was a disk with the IHS inscription, something like the one pictured below. Total thing probably came in at some 20 to 25 pounds of brass.





So, there I was, this young holy warrior, clad in the armor of my faith, marching forward, armed with a weapon of the brightest metal, ready to stand forth and defend the Lord God Almighty!

In actuality I was a dipshit geek with a thing for playing D&D and a fascination with polearms. That freeking crucifix felt ... good ... in my hands. If some idiot had ever tried to pull some political statement by shooting up a church, I was just young enough and thought myself just that immortal (and I was just that stupid) that I probably would have arced that holy symbol cum mace into his head. It would have taken nothing to bring down Yahweh's wrath and 15 pounds of brass into the top of a cranium or sweep the staff across a chin and then repeatedly butt thump the poor bastard until there wouldn't have been much left to identify.

Luckily, none of this ever happened. Lucky for me, as I probably would have dropped the crucifix and soiled my cassock. Instead, I spent a great deal of time being overly dramatic with this rather showy piece of holy accoutrement. Being an altar boy meant nearly constant genuflecting. You were the priest's gofer, so you were off running to get this or that, fill this, put that away, light this, extinguish that, etc. Every time you moved across the center of the altar, you were supposed to genuflect in front of the tabernacle. At certain times of the year, this meant a two kneed genuflect. (The Catholics have a real thing for kneeling and genuflecting!)

About the only times one could get out of doing this were when you were in pain or if you had something large in your hands that would make it difficult to genuflect, say a nine foot long processional cross, then a simple bow would do. But! I was an overly dramatic kneeling machine with a holy weapon in my hands. Just because I could, I'd whip that cross around, genuflect and hold that cross out like some glam rocker presenting his axe to a clamoring crowd. It was ridiculous. I'm sure I was a riot to anyone that saw me. I was very serious about these things, I did them well because I could, maybe more "well" than they should have been done.

I wish there were pictures or video, I'm sure it would have been a hoot to see me. I just wish I still had those knees! What a waste!

MAX: THE GREATEST BOOK EVER WRITTEN BY GOD FOR SINNERS

BIRTH CONTROL IS SINFUL IN THE CHRISTIAN MARRIAGES and also ROBBING GOD OF PRIESTHOOD CHILDREN!!

Max: Lex Luthor On The Lexcorp Bailout

"Lex Luthor Bailout" with Jon Hamm - watch more funny videos

Max: Mystery Team

This may be the greatest movie ever made.

Max: The Squeaky Wheel

Saint Louis Beacon - MoDOT shuffles money for the St. Louis area

The St. Louis area may have gotten another road project to be paid for by the American Recovery and Reinvestment Act of 2009 (economic stimulus package) while funding for two other projects will be reduced from original estimates.

The Missouri Department of Transportation this afternoon released an 'updated' lists of projects the agency is considering for stimulus package funding and will review it for the public at a briefing at 6 p.m. today at the agency's District 6 office, 1590 Woodlake Drive in Chesterfield.

On the new list are three projects not mentioned in MoDOT's 'provisional' list unveiled at a recent East-West Gateway Council of Governments meeting. At that meeting St. Louis Mayor Francis Slay complained that the $5 million the agency was allotting to work in the city of St. Louis was not enough especially, he said, because the federal government has said economically distressed areas should be given priority in assigning the stimulus funds.

Jericho: Cities at Sea

I was about 20 when I first heard the word "Arcology". I loved the concept. A single building that could hold a whole city - building upwards instead of outwards. Less destruction to the ecology with all the living space. A beautiful concept that has yet to be realized.

I started tossing around the idea with Max a little later. What if we built an arco - out in the middle of the Atlantic? Right at the equator. If you built it right, it would withstand the hurricanes. You could use the technology used in oil rigs, or, find a high spot and build it upwards. The government could be anything we wanted. It would be completely tolerant. You'd want it at the equator to be a good location for a space port and an orbital elevator. Lots of economic opportunities there. Make drugs, gambling and prostitution legal - the tourists would come from all over.

Looks like some smart people in San Fran are looking into this - in the very short term. I hope they can pull it off. I think it would be an excellent way to live.

After CNN appearance, Slay clarifies stance on stimulus | Political Fix | STLtoday

After CNN appearance, Slay clarifies stance on stimulus | STLtoday

ST. LOUIS — Mayor Francis Slay must have heard from more than a few folks after going on national television criticizing Missouri’s use of federal stimulus money.

Slay appeared on a special segment of CNN earlier this week, questioning why the first project in Missouri was a relatively out-of-the-way bridge over the Osage River south of Jefferson City.

Max: Losing My E String, er, Religion

Max: Church Says 9 YO Rape Victim Should Have The Decency To Shut Up And Die

BBC NEWS | Americas | Rape row sparks excommunications

A Brazilian archbishop says all those who helped a child rape victim secure an abortion are to be excommunicated from the Catholic Church.

Max: MO Screwing St. Louis?

Max: Good Day

I don't know if I am getting better at being positive or if today is just a particularly good day.

It started off with some great news. Laura's OB/GYN told her that she is doing way better than he expected, so much better that she no longer has to spend all day in bed. She still has to take it easy, but for a few hours a day she can actually get up and even leave the house. That is a major relief for both of us. Also, once Laura hits 36 weeks Iris will be cooked enough that Laura will be pretty much free to do as she pleases, going into labor will actually be a good thing.

From there the day could only go downhill. But, the hill was not steep.

For the first time in what seems like weeks, no friends or family were in the house when my shower time rolled around. I like to leave the bathroom door open to get ventilation, and I have gotten out of the habit of using a robe as until recently only Laura and the dogs would see me in my glory. After days of overly steamy showers and actually having to cover my shame for the journey from the bathroom to the bedroom, today was a welcome return to routine.

This week I have been working a later than usual schedule. That has been pretty nice, but parking spots were harder that usual to come by Monday and Tuesday because I wasn't arriving as everyone else was leaving for lunch. Today, however, I managed to find one of the better parking spaces unoccupied. Not a major victory, but a victory none the less.

Call volume was about average and mostly dealing with the same boring crap. But that didn't bug me. I was, and am, in too good of a mood to let them get to me like they used to.

There are other little things that make me happy. I have the latest Futurama on my computer. And I have my computer at work; usually I only being it on Friday and the weekends because it never slows down enough to use it. I have had some interesting Twitter conversations. And, fanboy that I am, I am way more please than I should be that I got to help Scott Kurtz with a minor issue with Tweetdeck. I even got a nice little Thank You tweet that were it not online but rather on a part of my body that I normally wash I would never wash it again.

Good day.

Max: What's That Smell?