Max: As Gas Prices Rise...

...St. Louis's meager public transit infrastructure begins to crumble.

Mass transit soon will become more expensive -- or more elusive -- in the St. Louis region. Take your pick.

Metro, the regional transit agency, today adopted a $221.6 million operating budget that left no room for the status quo without a new source of money.

Faced with a projected $8.4 million shortfall in the agency's operating budget for the year that begins July 1, Metro leaders are preparing for fare increases and service cuts that could kick in by New Year's Day.

Max: Jack Helafieno - A Real American

(Ominous music)

Bob Statesman says that Jack Helafieno is a violent meth addict with a taste for incestuous necrophilia. But Bob is a liberal elitist. He reads books, even when his TV is not broken. He was recently overheard talking about a recent issue of Playboy. He was talking about an article. He probably doesn't even look at the pictures.

Also, the letters in "Bob" are also used to spell "Obama bin Laden".

Meanwhile, Jack Helafieno has the same first name as Jack Bauer.

Jack Helafieno; a real American.

Paid for by Morons Who Don't Know Anything

Max: Bob Statesman - Wrong For America

(Ominous music)

Bob Statesman opposed the war in Iraq because it was a "bad idea".

Just because he was right does not mean he isn't all the things we said he was back when we thought the war was a "nifty idea".

Bob Statesman - wrong for America.

Paid for by Americans United for Lying About Politicians We Don't Like

Max: Martian Lander of Science

Jericho: Pixie Dust Follow Up

We covered the Finger Replacing Pixie Dust, or should we say "Pigsie" Dust in a post last month.

As a follow up, it looks like the US Government is putting the pig bits to good use by helping some of our brave boys get their parts back.

I love when sci-fi becomes science fact!

Max: Bob's Bible Tales

This is the word of the Lord. Really. Check your Bible if you doubt.

Max: Super High Me

Max: Comedy

Jericho and I should have formed a comedy duo and called ourselves "Four Short Men".

Jericho: The Geek Choir of Angels

For four minutes and thirty five seconds in February 1985, the "keytar" was cool.

Heck, this wasn't just cool - this was pure, uncut, whole grain awesome!

I remember watching this part of the Grammy awards that year. I hated award shows (still do) - they were usually boring. But, they kept saying Thomas Dolby, Herbie Hancock, Howard Jones and Stevie Wonder were going to perform. These were four artists I admired the hell out of, even at the tender age of 13. I wasn't aware they were going to perform together.

I watched this performance in gape-mouthed awe. The stacks of synths, computers and who knows what else, the colorful players, the music! My fascination with electronic music and jazz was sealed whether I knew it or not.

Today I heard a song from Howard Jones and thought about this performance. I felt an odd pang of regret that I didn't have a recording of this. But, then my brain kicked in and said "Duh! You Tube?" ... and of course You Tube delivered like Dominos! Could I love You Tube more? No!

Looking back, this performance isn't significant as a work of art - it's for an awards ceremony after all. Its significance flows from the fact that it was a cooperation of four great performers and it was a ton of talent on one stage. This is something that formed a bit of who I am and I'm happy to be able to share it with you all.

Max: My Goals

For no particular reason, I decided to write down as many goals as I could without stopping to think about what "should" be my goals.

My Goals

Attend BNC reunion camp
Attend Bass Boot Camp
Attend Bass @ The Beach
Become a better bassist
Get in better shape
Learn Japanese
Learn Algebra, Calculus, Trig, higher math, etc
Learn more about philosophy
Get better at applying logic to my daily life
Learn C
Be able to build my own customer Linux distro
Be able to build my dream bass
Be able to build neat electronic gadgets
Go to Tokyo
Go to Antarctica
Learn to write well (grammar, punctuation, spelling, economy of words)
Go back to London
Go to Paris
See Victoria Falls
Hike Kilimanjaro
Learn more about science
Be more comfortable making conversation
Be more calm, especially in stressful situations
Be more focused, especially on activities that can lead to achieving my goals
Learn to cook healthier meals

What I spend most of my time on does little to nothing towards reaching most of those goals. Hmm.

Max: Stray Rescue Wins $1M

From the P-D

Stray Rescue of St. Louis has won a $1 million shelter makeover contest.

Stray Rescue beat out two other finalists in the contest sponsored by zootoo.com, a website dedicated to helping pets and pet lovers.

Max: St. John the Baptist HS to Close

STLtoday

Leaders at the last Catholic parish high school in St. Louis have decided to close its doors at the end of this school year, citing declining enrollment and increasing costs, and leaving students and parents in tears Friday.

The parish and finance councils at the 84-year-old St. John the Baptist College Prep High School met Thursday night to make their final decision.

Max: No Money + No Meds * Stupidity = My Weekend

Discontinuation symptoms have been systematically evaluated in patients taking venlafaxine, to include prospective analyses of clinical trials in Generalized Anxiety Disorder and retrospective surveys of trials in major depressive disorder. Abrupt discontinuation or dose reduction of venlafaxine at various doses has been found to be associated with the appearance of new symptoms, the frequency of which increased with increased dose level and with longer duration of treatment. Reported symptoms include agitation, anorexia, anxiety, confusion, coordination impaired, diarrhea, dizziness, dry mouth, dysphoric mood, fasciculation, fatigue, headaches, hypomania, insomnia, nausea, nervousness, nightmares, sensory disturbances (including shock-like electrical sensations), somnolence, sweating, tremor, vertigo, and vomiting.

It is somewhat disturbing to find out;

A) I am a drug addict, prescribed or not

and

2) I am even more feeble than I thought I was.

Max: Tor

Did you know that Tor Books is giving away a free eBook every week? Now you do.

Max: LHC v God

Why can't I have the kind of crazy that comes with fun stories?

Max: Jericho

Wordsmith theme: words related to beards.

Jericho (JER-i-ko) noun

A place out of the way; an unspecified place; a place of concealment. Often used in the phrase "go to Jericho".

[After Jericho, an ancient city of Palestine, northwest of the Dead Sea, where David had his servants wait until their beards had grown. As in Samuel, a book of the Bible, "And the king said, Tarry at Jericho until your beards be grown."]

Max: Barak and Hillary Sittin' in a Tree

From CNN

Hillary Clinton on Wednesday reiterated her vow to stay in the Democratic presidential race, but she said it would be a "terrible mistake" for her supporters to vote for John McCain over Barack Obama.

"Anybody who has ever voted for me or voted for Barack has much more in common in terms of what we want to see happen in our country and in the world with the other than they do with John McCain," Clinton said on CNN's "The Situation Room."

It sounds like someone is making nice in advance of accepting a Veep slot.

Max: Garrison Keillor - Individual Like Everyone Else

A nation of individualists

The beauty of May is that the whole country is more or less on the same page, called spring, and spring is spring, in Minnesota or California or Georgia or Vermont. Slightly different birds and flowers, same feeling. April is blowing snow up north, and by June my friends in Georgia will be chained to their air conditioners, but here for a few weeks we are more unum than pluribus.

I grew up in a country where we all knew the same songs and watched the same TV shows, and now we live in tiny niches. Most famous people are people most people have never heard of. Which is fine by me. A nation of individualists. You work hard to be odd and try to have unique problems and a Facebook page that is weirder than everyone else's -- fine, it's your life, it's your arm with the crocodile tattoo, not mine, but enjoy this brief period of consanguinity.

Max: Puny Words! Why You Hurt BillO? BillO Smash!

Max: Herring Circus

Max: William Shatner - Ham and Human

One morning, shooting a Star Trek movie in the desert, I had a very early call.

So I told the wardrobe girl: "Give me my uniform and I'll put it on at the house so I don't have to come in any earlier for wardrobe. I'll just wear it to the set."

So at 4am I was racing across the desert to our location. I was way over the speed limit, figuring there wasn't another car on the road in the entire state.

It turned out there was one other car - and it had lights and a siren.

I got out of my car, dressed in my uniform. The police officer looked me up and down, frowned and asked: "So where are you going so fast at this time in the morning?"

I told him the truth: "To my spaceship."

He sighed. "OK, go ahead," he said, before adding the Vulcan blessing: "Live long and prosper."

From the Daily Mail's excerpt of William Shatner's autobiogaphy, Up Till Now

Max: Volcano Belches Hellfire From The Bowels Of Earth

Max: Snique Pique

New Futurama is acomin'

Max: Best Headline Ever

BBC NEWS | Science/Nature | Great tits cope well with warming

Jericho: Patterns

Long time readers of this site, both of you, know that I hate my job and am fat and feel like I have accomplished nothing.

That's still the case.

I've been in the same pattern since I was a teenager. I can't get any momentum under myself and usually the thing standing in my way is my own lack of confidence.

The last week or so I have been thinking about my writing again. I've repeatedly said for years I need a new career and that I would like that career to be "fiction writer".

I've been listening to a great audio book How I Write by Janet Evanovich. This book has been very inspirational. The last chapter of the book had a theme: "Write the damn book!"

I do want to write the book. I do. I have at least one book in me. The audio book is filled with questions from potential authors like me, they have all the same questions I have and the same doubts and fears. Yet, in with those fears, they are writing books. Not me. I'm too tired and I have video games to play and I suck at writing and whatever.

I have to find a way to break my pattern. Really break it. Radically break it. Burn down the house and rise from the ashes. Do something simply extravagant.

I just have no idea what.

Max: Fuckity Fuck Fuck Fuck

Laura and I are spending $50 a week on gas. Our mortgage just went up (due to insurance). Our water bill just skyrocketed. Food costs are fucking ridiculous.

I'm making more money than I ever have, but we are struggling just as much as when I made half of what I do now.

I guess I'll have to start hounding my boss to schedule me for some Saturdays.

Max: Science; Threat or Menace?

Max: The Demon Weed

On Arrests, Demographics, and Marijuana

Among those washed into Manhattan Criminal Court by the Tuesday morning tides was a 25-year-old man who works in technology support for a large company.

He had been caught with $30 worth of marijuana after his car was stopped on Riverside Drive, an offense against Section 221.10 of the New York State penal code. His case involved surveillance by an unmarked car and two officers who then stayed late into the night processing their prisoner, fingerprinting him, writing a complaint and taking his mug shot.

The court proceeding lasted about 45 seconds. The charges would be permanently dismissed if he stayed out of trouble for a year, which did not appear to be a big challenge, since he had never been arrested before.

...

Among the pretty large population of white people who have used pot and not been arrested for it is Mayor Michael R. Bloomberg. Asked during the 2001 campaign by New York magazine if he had ever smoked it, Mr. Bloomberg replied: “You bet I did. And I enjoyed it.” After he was elected and his remarks were used in advertisements by marijuana legalization advocates, Mr. Bloomberg said his administration would vigorously enforce the laws.

Max: Copright Myths