As some of our readers are aware, I hate my current job.
At heart, I'm a lazy bum. I find "going to work" distasteful at best. Having said that, I seem to find more and more stressful jobs and I seem to hold on to them forever. The last job I had, the stress got so bad I was getting headaches that required prescription meds, an MRI and other treatments. This job has allowed me to add 150 or so pounds and given me atrial fibrillation and congestive heart failure. Yet, I've stuck with it about two years longer than I should have.
So, for about a week I have been mulling over an idea. My health issues are out of control, but most of them could be cured with simple diet and exercise. Yet, my job tires me out so bad that I have no energy to exercise and I have self-medicated with food, my only vice, to fight the effects of the stress. If I didn't have the job, I wouldn't have the stress. If I didn't have to go to work, I would have time to exercise and I would have less access to junk food if I was home with a kitchen full of good nutrition choices.
Finding a new job would get rid of the current suckiness of my job, but I would probably be trading high stress for just as high if not higher stress somewhere else. I seem to attract crap jobs.
Thus, leaving the work-a-day world, even for a short time, would allow me to work on my health. Taking a sabbatical to fix my issues might help me a great deal.
There's no way I can afford unemployment. Our money situation is 100 times better than it was two years ago and about 20 better than this time last year - but we still have bills and a quality of life to support. I gotta have my cable Internet and DVR!
I have a 401k that is doing pretty well, despite the Stock Market's volatility. (If you are working and don't have a 401k, you are mad! Never too early to plan for retirement.) If I cashed it out, even after paying taxes and penalties, I'd have the equivalent of what I bring home for six months. That's a heck of a sabbatical! Cashing out one's 401k is not a smart thing, but at the rate I'm going, seeing 65 is getting less likely all the time. Even if I did get there, my medical bills would eat through my savings in a minute.
About three problems appeared when I got to this point. First, I'm a lazy bum. If I did this and failed to at least put my health on the right track, it would have been a huge waste of time and money - not to mention jeopardize getting a job when I'm done. Second, taxes. Retirement accounts like the 401k are loaded with tax pitfalls - especially when you use it in a way that wasn't intended. Last, I gotta have medical insurance. COBRA is expensive, but I should be able to get on my wife's plan, right?
I went to Steph with this plan on Wednesday. She saw its wisdom and its pitfalls. The first point above seemed to bug her the most. She began listing out if-then gates; "If you are going to do this then you will be at the gym everyday." and "If you continued to screw around for 30 days, then your fat ass would be looking for a job" - she was nicer about it than that - but I had to agree. I know I'm a bum, having some metrics as a guide would be a great idea. It was actually something of a relief to be able to find an easy was to regulate this. I'm not looking for a vacation here, I'm looking to fix the bad crap that has built up the last 20 years. Steph said she would look into the insurance aspect of it and I immediately sent email to Judi, Max's Mom and Tax Goddess, with tax questions. This might just be doable!
(Judi, if you are reading this, don't worry about answering my email. It just doesn't matter at this point. How's that for foreshadowing?)
Yesterday, my job proved how fucking back-ass-wards it is in so many ways. Too many ways to list here. But, even in the face of adversity, I kept a smile on my face. I had a way out. This was only temporary. I felt like a depressive who has finally set the date for his suicide - I had a secret, it was going to hurt a bunch of people (my employers in this case) and I was ready to go! Excellent.
After work, Steph and I are driving home. Steph tells me she looked into it. Voluntarily leaving a job doesn't constitute a "change of status" in the eyes of her employer's insurance company. So, the only way I could get onto her insurance would be during open enrollment - in January. I can't last at this job that long. I blew up at Steph - not her fault, I know, but I was so angry. I can't catch a fucking break. I come up with a way that could quite literally save my life, a way to make my life better and of course some insurance company is standing in my way.
I AM FUCKING TRAPPED! I HAVE NO WAY OUT OF THIS SITUATION! I CAN'T STAND THIS SHIT ANY MORE!I regained some composure and apologized to Steph - but it's not enough. She doesn't deserve me yelling at her. I'm really sorry, hun. I just don't know what to do.
So, in a week or two - maybe sooner, I'm going to start looking for a new job. Maybe something for a non-profit - at least then my work will not be making some rich asshole richer. If I wait around until July when they announce my insult, I mean, "raise" - I'll likely end up in the klink on assault charges.
The bad news is that the stress in my life will likely continue to mount as my body continues to fail more and more egregiously. The good news is that my 401k will pay for one hell of a wake - everyone is invited!
